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Tips for being a long-distance caregiver

Dear Savvy Senior: What tips do you have for long-distance caregivers? I help take care of my stubborn 86-year-old mother, who still lives at home about 150 miles from me. — Need Advice

Dear Need: Supporting an aging parent from afar can present a variety of challenges. Here are ways to make the job less difficult and stressful.

If your mom needs a lot of help, consider hiring a geriatric care manager who will assess her thoroughly to identify her needs and will set up and manage all aspects of her care. But geriatric care managers are expensive, typically charging between $100 and $250 per hour, after an initial assessment of $150 to $750, and are not covered by Medicare.

To find a geriatric care manager in your mom’s area, visit AgingLifeCare.org or contact the nearest Area Agency on Aging (800-677-1116) to see whether they have a list of providers.

If your mom needs only occasional help, or if you can’t afford a care manager, here are things you can do yourself:

>> Create a care team: Put together a network of people (nearby friends or family, neighbors, clergy, etc.) who can check on your mom regularly and can be called on for occasional help. Also, put together a list of reliable services you can call for household needs such as lawn care, handyman services, plumbing, etc.

>> Tap local resources: Most communities offer a range of free or subsidized services that can help seniors with basic needs such as home-delivered meals, transportation or senior companion services. Contact the nearby Area Aging Agency to find out what’s available.

>> Use financial tools: If your mom needs help with financial chores, arrange for direct deposit for her income sources and set up automatic payments for her utilities and other routine bills. You can also set up online banking services, so you can pay bills and monitor her account anytime. Or, if you need help, hire a daily money manager (AADMM.com). They charge between $25 and $100 per hour.

>> Check essential documents: This is also a good time to make sure your mom has the following essential legal documents: a will; a living will and health care proxy, which allows you to make medical decisions on her behalf should she become incapacitated; and a durable power of attorney, which gives you similar legal authority for financial decisions, if needed.

If she doesn’t have these documents, now is the time to prepare them. If she has them, be sure they’re updated and know where they are located.

>> Hire in-home help: Depending on your mom’s needs, you might need to hire a part-time home-care aide who can help with tasks such as preparing meals, housekeeping or personal care. Costs can run anywhere from $12 to $25 per hour. To find someone, try websites like Care.com or CareLinx.com.

>> Utilize technology: Various technologies can help keep tabs on your mom. Medical alert systems, video camera monitors, wearable activity trackers and electronic pillboxes can notify you if she has, for example, taken her medications. And websites such as LotsAHelpingHands.com can help coordinate members of her care team.

For more tips, call the National Institute on Aging at 800-222-2225 and order the free booklet “Long-Distance Caregiving: Twenty Questions and Answers.”


Jim Miller is a contributor to the NBC “Today” show and author of “The Savvy Senior.” Send your senior questions to Savvy Senior, P.O. Box 5443, Norman, OK 73070; or visit SavvySenior.org.


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