Despite worry over her 2-year-old daughter’s rare brain tumor, life is a bit easier for Kapoliowaimea Dilcher now that she’s moved out of a homeless shelter and into her own apartment.

“It’s very stressful being a single parent to a medically fragile child,” she said. “Paying the bills is really hard, but other than that this is the happiest I’ve been.”

At 18, Dilcher gave birth to her first daughter, Brylee. Several months after Brylee’s birth, Dilcher was in the hospital with a severe head injury. Because Dilcher was in a wheelchair and unable to care for herself, Brylee went to live with a relative on the mainland, where she still lives today.

She gave birth to her second daughter, Hazel-Dream, in 2020. She and Hazel-Dream’s father were living in and out of homeless shelters. It wasn’t long before she began noticing some troubling symptoms in her youngest child.

“Her eyes ended up crossing and she stopped walking, and she was just doing everything backwards,” Dilcher said. “I knew there was something wrong with her but I didn’t think it was gonna be cancer.”

Dilcher said she dropped to her knees and cried when Hazel-Dream was diagnosed with brain stem glioma just four days before her first birthday. The news worsened when doctors told her the cancer was located in the child’s brain stem, making it inoperable. Her only hope of surviving was chemotherapy, Dilcher said.

She was pregnant at the time but miscarried soon after hearing the news. However, Dilcher said the ordeal gave her the strength she needed to leave Hazel-Dream’s father.

“It literally took finding out that my daughter had brain cancer for me to be like, screw this, none of this is worth it,” Dilcher said. “I’d rather live in a shelter than get beaten every day of my life.”

She enrolled in a program for survivors of domestic violence and moved herself and Hazel-Dream out of a homeless shelter and into their new apartment.

Hazel-Dream’s chemotherapy treatments only slightly reduced the size of her tumor. If it re-grows, she will likely require radiation therapy after she turns 3, a procedure with immense risks when performed on a still-developing brain.

Despite their uncertain future, seeing her daughter off of chemotherapy has lifted a small weight off Dilcher’s shoulders and she looks forward to giving her child the fullest life possible.

She now has a job and hopes to eventually bring Brylee back to Hawaii so they can live together as a family. Her goals include saving enough money to help her daughters when they are old enough to start their own lives, and buying “a brand-new, reliable car and not a used one.”

Hardships aside, Dilcher continues to count her blessings.

“At the end of the day, we have a roof over our head — we’re secure here,” she said. “As long as we have a roof overhead, we can make anything happen.”

For Christmas, Hazel- Dream could use size 4 clothing. The toddler loves Barbies, dollhouses, the Disney movie “Frozen” and dressing up as a princess.

Dilcher asks for nothing for herself. She only wishes for things that will help her give Hazel-Dream a better Christmas.

BE A GOOD NEIGHBOR

The annual Good Neighbor Fund, a charitable partnership between Helping Hands Hawaii, the Honolulu Star- Advertiser and First Hawaiian Bank, helps struggling individuals and families during the holiday season. This year under the Adopt A Family Program, more than 600 families are seeking assistance with food, clothing, toys and household items. Donations to the Good Neighbor Fund also assist Helping Hands with operational costs for the nonprofit’s Community Clearinghouse Program, which helps people with basic necessities throughout the year. The hours for Adopt A Family donations (new items) are 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. Monday through Friday. Donations of gently used items can be dropped off at the Community Clearinghouse at 2100 N. Nimitz Highway from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. Tuesdays.

HOW TO HELP

People can donate cash or checks to the “Good Neighbor Fund” at any First Hawaiian Bank branch statewide until Dec. 31. To donate specifically to Kapoliowaimea Dilcher and her family, include the code: CFS-DVA-01.

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Linsey Dower covers ethnic and cultural affairs and is a corps member of Report for America, a national service organization that places journalists in local newsrooms to report on undercovered issues and communities.