When I reflect upon my life, I can see that everything I have experienced from the day I was born has served me and added infinite value to my life today. Even the disappointments, shattered dreams and betrayals have helped me grow in ways that have led me to my greatest joys and accomplishments.

It is the same for you. Every positive and negative experience has guided you and shaped your path.

Try to reach a point where you really get that all that has happened has led you to where you are today. If you can attain this clarity, it’s almost impossible not to feel humbled by the intelligence that governs this universe — a divine order of synchronicities that brings the people, circumstances and situations to us in exactly the way we need so we can grow and evolve.

If you are going through something really challenging right now, take a deep breath and trust there is a reason for it. You will grow from this challenge.

Here are some ways to speed up the process of seeing the gain:

>> If someone has wronged you: It’s easy to see ourselves as the victim, and focus on what was done to us. This keeps us in a state of negativity. Instead of asking “How could they do this to me?” ask “How did this happen for me?” In other words, what benefit did you gain by this situation?

>> If someone doesn’t appreciate you: When you give abundantly of your time, love, energy and resources without receiving an equal return of energy or appreciation, you will build resentment. Instead of focusing on the other person, realize you are upset with yourself for not drawing stronger boundaries. No one will value your time unless you value your time. Show appreciation for yourself by changing the way in which you share your precious energy.

>> If you feel trapped by a certain situation: Ask yourself how your situation could be worse. Imagine specific scenarios and variations of your challenge that would be worse than what you are currently experiencing. Do this diligently, and it won’t be long before you see that your situation is not as bad as you have been leading yourself to believe.

By envisioning something worse, you subconsciously create more appreciation for where you are. So, instead of complaining, change your perspective by seeing that actually you are quite lucky.

Alice Inoue is the founder of Happiness U. Visit yourhappinessu.com.