In keeping with Jewish rituals embracing humble simplicity, there are no headstones or bunches of decorative flowers in Abraham’s Garden.
The peaceful field of a cemetery in Hawaiian Memorial Park in Kaneohe consists of 100 burial plots.
Don Armstrong, sole owner and manager of Abraham’s Garden, says the cemetery reflects the scriptural view, “We come into this world with nothing, and we leave with nothing.”
Armstrong, longtime president of Congregation Sof Ma’arav — a lay-led, egalitarian congregation affiliated with the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism — founded Abraham’s Garden in 2011 because the Jewish cemetery owned by Temple Emanu-El at Mililani Memorial Park was running out of space, he said.
He will conduct an informational meeting and tour of the cemetery, in Hawaiian Memorial Park’s Meditation II section, on Oct. 25 for anyone of the Jewish faith interested in buying “rights of interment.” The event begins at 10 a.m. at the park’s main office, 45-425 Kamehameha Highway.
According to tradition, Jewish people are buried apart from those of different faiths, separated by a physical boundary, based on “a commandment from antiquity,” Armstrong said. The cemetery permits only burial of Reform, Conservative, Reconstructionist and Orthodox Jews by matrilineal descent or conversion. But because many ancestral records were destroyed during World War II, “we will let people attest to the nature of their Judaism” through affidavit, Armstrong said. He estimates that 15,000 Jews live in Hawaii.
The practice of maintaining separate burial areas extends to non-Jewish family members, who may be interred in a “Jewish Family Section” at Abraham’s Garden. But in the interest of inclusion and “because intermarriage is a fact of modern Jewish life … we will accommodate the contiguous burial of non-Jewish family members along the boundary between the two sections,” Armstrong said. This boundary is signified by unobtrusive, in-ground markers.
Abraham’s Garden is further separated from other cemeteries on four sides by an access road, a hedge, a walkway and a chain fence.
To accommodate another ritual, Hawaiian Memorial drills holes in the concrete liners of each grave site “so that the remains can come in contact with earth. The casket is made of wood so that it can naturally decompose and permit the remains to return to the earth,” Armstrong said.
Jews believe man was formed from earth and must return to that state — from “dust to dust,” according to Hebrew Scripture. That’s why, Armstrong said, “cremation is discouraged. The body must be respected; cremation also echoes the Holocaust.”
A bucket of earth and a spade and shovel are provided for mourners to use at burial services. And a faucet and basin are used for ritual cleansing afterward.
A remembrance ceremony is held when the grave marker is unveiled, usually at the first anniversary of the burial. Visitors mark their presence by leaving a small stone on the grave marker, and the cemetery provides a bucket of stones for this purpose.
“Flowers are usually not seen at funerals or grave sites; instead, family and friends are encouraged to make a donation to charity and/or their synagogue in remembrance of the deceased,” Armstrong said. Abraham’s Garden does not permit headstones. A granite or bronze grave marker, however, is required at each burial plot, he said.
For information about the site visit, contact Armstrong at 294-3082 or darmstrongpers@aol.com.