Family psychologist John Rosemond will return to Hawaii for three events this month.

On Tuesday, Rosemond will speak at a free 90-minute presentation, "Parenting with Love and Leadership," at 7 p.m. at Hawaii Baptist Academy High School, 2429 Pali Highway. For information visit www.hba.net.

Rosemond also will speak about "Parenting the Strong Willed Child" at New Hope Leeward Church at Waipahu Town Center, at 7 p.m. Thursday. Cost to attend the lecture is $10. Call 678-3778 or visit www.newhopeleeward.org.

On Jan. 19 he will conduct a three-hour workshop, "Keys to Effective Discipline," at 9 a.m. at University Avenue Baptist Church, 2304 University Ave. Cost is $10. To register, visit www.hba.net.

In an email interview, Rosemond answered Star-Advertiser questions about parenting today and how he responds to his critics.

His column runs every Saturday in the printed version of the Honolulu Star-Advertiser.

QUESTION: Why do today’s parents have so much trouble with discipline issues?

ANSWER: Children haven’t changed but parenting has. About 40 years ago, various "experts" sold parents a new parenting paradigm that has obviously fallen flat on its face. Not only are today’s parents having more problems than their great-grandparents would have ever thought possible, but today’s children are not as happy, by a long shot, as kids were before the psychobabblers began babbling. "New" parenting isn’t working, and it never will work, no matter how hard people work at it.

Q: What is at the core of successful discipline?

A: An understanding of basic leadership principles. Children need two equally important "L" ingredients from their parents: love and leadership. Both of those "L" ingredients have to be convincing. The child’s fundamental sense of well-being and therefore happiness and success depends on it. Discipline is all a matter of how you communicate, how you present yourself to your child. It is not a matter of how you punish.

Q: How do you answer critics who say your methods and ideas are outdated or overly harsh?

A: The accusation that I’m outdated implies that parenting needs to change with the times. But that wasn’t ever the case. Parenting never changed with the times until the 1960s, and the result has been nothing but problems. People who accuse me of being overly harsh are being overly dramatic. There’s nothing harsh about insisting, calmly and confidently, that children obey. In the final analysis, obedience is in their best interest. Have you ever known a disobedient, rebellious person who was a happy camper? Not likely.

Q: Are you working on any new books or other projects?

A: Always. I’ve got a new website in the works, a new book coming out in the fall, and I’m planning the launch of several other ventures — all for the purpose of helping parents do a better job. I’m a man on a mission.

Q: You’ve made several visits to Hawaii in recent years. Do you have any local ties?

A: My wife (Willie Rosemond) and I have had the pleasure of developing a relationship with Mike and Carol Gabbard. Mike and Carol brought me to Hawaii twice. I’ve spoken for them on both Oahu and Kauai. They head up a parenting initiative that has incorporated my philosophy. We’ve stayed in touch. We have some other good friends who pastor churches, counsel and run philanthropic organizations. We absolutely love Hawaii and its people.

Q: What are your favorite things about Hawaii?

A: Like I said, the people. Friendly, embracing, warm … the island spirit is infectious. The geography, everywhere, is stunning. Willie and I love going to the North Shore and watching the surfers. The golf is great. The restaurants are fabulous. The air is refreshingly clean. We love everything about Hawaii.

I can’t think of anything we don’t like. Wait! The traffic in Honolulu during rush hour. But not even (Hawaii residents) like that, right?