I would like to highlight three examples of recent news reporting relating to intimate partner terrorism: domestic violence. These pieces are consistently written without context, as discrete, unconnected events. Such disembodied accounts ignore the true dynamics of this scourge — and sadly evade the truth of the power wielded by an abuser.
The three articles in the Star- Advertiser: “Puna man, 53, arrested for allegedly shooting at, injuring wife,” on March 31; and “Interisland quarantine order empties airports” and “Woman and infant in Ewa Beach double-homicide died of multiple stab wounds, Medical Examiner’s Office says,” both on April 2.
In the Puna story, we read that police arrested Rick Bowen after he allegedly assaulted and fired gunshots at his wife as she fled their home. Officers responded to a report of a “physical domestic incident.”
All of our research indicates that the home is the most violent place for women. Terrorism against survivors is not a domestic incident; it is a profoundly serious crime, not to be linguistically minimized.
The description of the murder of Kayla Holder, 23 of Ewa Beach, and her 6-month-old son, Kainoa Ramsey, is heart-breaking. The two apparently were bludgeoned to death by Holder’s boyfriend, 21-year-old Kendall Rashad Ramsey, in a drunken rage. “Multiple stab wounds” is the image seared in the brain. Impossible to unsee. Always these stories haunt us. Until the next one.
The events reported these last few days are not isolated incidents, but rather, part of a pattern that renders the survivor silenced and terrified, the gendered source of violence un-examined, and the structural misogyny driving institutions unchanged.
By connecting these narratives and the language used to describe them, we can make public these “private” horrors. This strategy will make more preventable our collective shout of outrage.
Waikiki is described in the recent tourism article as “the heartbeat of the state’s economy.” We learn that the corporate landlords of the sector are rightly providing comfort to our admirable first responders in the virus crisis.
The Hawaii Hotel and Lodging Association’s “Hotels for Heroes” program ought to be extended on a permanent basis to those (mainly) women, children and pets who are trapped at home with abusers and dysfunction — especially during high-stress periods of quarantine.
Community resources invested to bring families to safety hold great promise for the entire well-being of our island state. The chaos we see playing out right now is blurred during “normal” times. We can lay the foundation at this moment — and build it, bolster it, believe in it.
It is acutely apparent to advocates and organizations working on this crisis that the issue continues to be minimized by the community at large. With myths dominating the dialogue until now, we must insist that leaders, employers, churches, health-care providers, law enforcement professionals and families, link together to prevent the crimes committed by one partner against another. The examination and response must be now, must be suitable and be effective.
The Hawaii hotel association can further honor itself, its employees and a grateful community, by supporting safe spaces and underwriting proactive advocacy resources for peaceful families and ohana — Hawaii’s true “heartbeat.”
Nancie Caraway, Ph.D., of Manoa, is an advocate, writer and academic. She is a former first lady of the state of Hawaii.
