Kenny Patton recalls when a parent of one of the regulars at his sports clinic told him the trainee would be taking a couple of weeks off. When Patton asked why, he was told it was because the young athlete had a “big game” coming up.
“He was 6,” Patton said. “There are no big games when you’re 6.”
The former University of Hawaii football player who also studied karate owns and operates Patton Sports Performance. He is among coaches and trainers who observe a growing trend of parents taking their young children’s sports too seriously.
Yes, there often is a lot on the line as athletes compete to make their high school teams, attain college scholarships and — if they are extremely talented and fortunate — play professional sports.
But there is too much emphasis on winning for young children who are better off learning basics and enjoying play for the sake of play, Patton and several other coaches and trainers said.
“The trend has changed over the years,” said Dennis Agena, who has taught basketball basics for 53 years. “The parents are more involved. Sometimes the parents are too involved emotionally and verbally. Right now I look at that as the biggest problem (in youth sports). They’re trying to mentor on the sideline.”
Reid Okimoto is an experienced youth baseball coach who is tired of parents with a win-at-all-cost mentality. He also said parents should not fear that their young children will fall behind their peers if they take off a season, or if they don’t play against older kids.
“I tell kids’ parents if they take a break when they’re 8 or 9, so what? The kids who are hitting bombs at that age, they’re not impressing anybody,” Okimoto said. “(High school level and above) coaches, scouts, they don’t care. You know why? Because they haven’t hit puberty yet. You could have a kid who is the lousiest player at age 10, but at 15 or 16 he could be the best shortstop you’ve ever seen, because he’s grown.”
Winning is much less important for young children than learning fundamentals, Okimoto said.
Patton agreed.
“I’d rather they go up (to a tournament) and lose at age 7, learn from it, and come back and learn more and win at age 16,” Patton said.
Patton’s clinic emphasizes speed, agility and quickness. It is similar to the speed and quickness clinics started by Rich Miano, who was Patton’s position coach when he played defensive back at UH.
Both try to keep drills interesting for kids by making them fun.
“We do things like tug-of-war, lots of things to switch it up,” Patton said. “The biggest thing is I try to give them a safe area to fail. My biggest successes have come after my failures. Now everyone is an all-star without having done anything. Everything is winning, winning. You shouldn’t win if you didn’t work for it.”
Derrick Low of ProFormance Hawaii said many of the youngest athletes are playing in too many games without having learned fundamentals.
“It’s like working toward a final exam,” Low said. “If you don’t spend time studying for it, preparing for it, more times than not you’re not going to do well.”
Gerald Oda, the coach of the 2018 Little League World Series champions from Honolulu, said parents often are not the most objective evaluators of their kids’ athletic potential.
“Sometimes it might be trying to force something that just isn’t in their future,” Oda said. “And the more important thing is teaching them to be good men.”
Clyde Asato was a soccer coach for many years before becoming the director of AYSO in Hawaii.
“The challenge for a youth soccer coach is to let the kids make decisions, right or wrong, and then help them learn from them,” Asato said. “Every second of the game (players) are making decisions.
“They’re not going to learn the sport if the parents are telling them what to do,” Asato added. “It would probably be great to coach a team of orphans.”
When parents criticize coaches and officials in front of their kids it sets a bad example.
“After the game, let your child ride home with his parent,” Asato said.
Patton said he and his staff focus on developing good sportsmanship.
“We talk about it a lot,” he said. “We tell them that you don’t ever criticize an official. I’ve never seen someone argue with the ref and get them to change their call.”