As a foster child in Tokyo, Hiro Ito couldn’t contain his excitement every time his father would come by and visit the Catholic monastery he resided in. Each reunion gave him renewed hope that it was the day he’d move in with dad. But each visit came to no avail.
“Every time he came, I’d get so happy and say, ‘Am I going home now?’ And he always said no,” Ito recalled.
Born to an Indonesian mother and Japanese father, Ito didn’t find out until years later that his father already had another family in an arranged Japanese marriage. His father had lied about being single to Ito’s birth mother, who had died. Ito’s stepmother didn’t want to care for Ito or his younger brother, and off they went to foster care.
HEROES NEXT DOOR
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Now 51, it was almost 18 years ago that Ito co-founded Kids Hurt Too Hawaii, a nonprofit organization that provides services to children grieving from death, separation and/or incarceration of their parents, as well as a variety of other situations, all free of charge.
Kids Hurt Too Hawaii gives recovering children a safe environment to express their feelings, but the children are not required to speak if they are not yet comfortable.
“It’s really about the little things,” said Michael K. Moore, KHTH’s executive director. “Hiro truly is a hero. His heart is here. He works with a wonderful mixture of empathy and skill. He knows what people need and when they need it. He’s not just happy-go-lucky.”
KHTH was founded in 2001 by Ito; Ito’s wife, Cynthia White; and Ann Willis. The organization was known as Outreach for Grieving Youth Alliance until 2006, when it changed its name after input from participating children.
The nonprofit organization, which started in Kaneohe, has expanded its unique support services from its current offices in downtown Honolulu to Hawaii island’s east side and the west side of Oahu.
“The kids call this Hiro’s place. He has such a connection with them,” said Amber Lua, a facilitator for KHTH who used to bring her two eldest children to participate. “He’s like a big kid. He can totally get in their world, and they love him.”
An evening with Ito during KHTH’s annual Christmas present event confirmed Lua’s sentiments. Ito was on his feet for hours as approximately 60 children came by to pick up their Christmas gifts, provided by Punahou School. Each family provided a wish list of gifts worth up to $50.
As kids filtered in and out of KHTH’s headquarters on North Kukui Street, Ito’s enthusiasm never waned. While the keiki received their gifts and chowed down on a potluck meal, Ito stayed on his feet to chat with the families present.
During a tour of KHTH’s facilities, Ito beamed with pride as he described a store on the ground floor called HI Rising. Almost all the employees are foster children or alumni of the program, he said, and they’re learning practical life lessons while also earning a little extra spending money.
On KHTH’s second floor, where groups convene and play, a picture of a young boy named Likeke Nakachi- Isaacs is prominently displayed in the middle of two other portraits. Ito pointed to the picture and recalled how Nakachi-Isaacs started coming to KHTH he was 9 years old, following the death of his father.
Nakachi-Isaacs was diagnosed with leukemia not long after he started attending, but Ito said he never stopped coming to meetings — though at times the frail boy could barely walk.
After a few years of chemotherapy, Nakachi-Isaacs was in remission. Ito’s eyes lit up as he mentioned that he talks regularly to Nakachi- Isaacs, who is now 21.
“Likeke keeps telling me he’s going to take my job someday,” Ito said with a wide grin.
Nakachi-Isaacs is off to a solid start in that regard, serving as a facilitator at some of KHTH’s meetings.
“I was all sickly. I was weak. I was tired. But Hiro was there for me,” said Nakachi-Isaacs, who is studying theater and social work at Windward Community College. “It was like having another father figure in my life. It’s someone to look up to. He’s loving, caring, sharing, and he really helped me cope.”
As for his own father, Ito harbors no ill will to this day. The two still keep in touch, and he visits his father regularly in Japan.
But as Ito told stories of his days in foster care, he spoke about how much he could have benefited from a place like KHTH. Ito is a proud father himself.
Then he shifted the conversation back to the kids at KHTH, explaining that they’ve done as much for him as he’s done for them.
“For me the kids are the role models,” Ito said. “It doesn’t feel like a job.”