Feel fat and unhappy? It’s January and I’ve been part of many conversations with people who are struggling with the aftermath of the holiday bulge.

Weight loss always tops the charts as a leading New Year’s resolution and the older we get the harder it seems to be able to lose weight, especially in the areas we want.

We tend to get down about our looks, as many of us have unrealistic expectations influenced by Hollywood and the media. In actuality, though, we look neither good nor bad. How we look just “is” — until we start to compare.

The Law of Relativity states that “nothing is good or bad, big or small, until you compare it to something else.” Yet, as human beings, genetically wired to be negative (for survival purposes), we tend to look for the downside, and compare and contrast everything — often to our disadvantage.

Here are a few things that you can do to conquer defeat:

>> Look for what’s good. You are the only person you will be with for the rest of your life, and when all is said and done, you are the one whose opinion is truly important. Our bodies are composed of 70 trillion cells and each plays a role in how we feel. When you look in the mirror, look for what you like about yourself.

For example, say “My hair looks good today” versus “I can’t stand these tire rolls by my stomach.” It will make a difference over time if you consciously notice what is good about your body.

>> Look for ways to move your body. It’s easy to complain about how you can’t walk far because of your bad knees, or you can’t get to an exercise class because you don’t drive.

Instead, look for ways you that you can integrate activity into your daily life and focus on what you are able to do. In other words, look for what’s possible versus what’s impossible.

>> Look for beauty in others. Notice something beautiful about people you see, especially those that irritate you and that you don’t like! Yes, these people have more than one side to them, not just the negative side that you constantly notice and fuel.

When you move from a one-sided, negative reality and open yourself up to seeing the truth (both sides), you’ll naturally be less critical of your own reflection in the mirror.

Here’s something that may offer some comfort: In a British study published last year in the International Journal of Epidemiology, researchers found that overweight people are more likely to be happy than skinny ones. Heavier people had a calmer state of mind and were less high strung.

So who says you can’t be fat and happy? Save time and energy by loving yourself just as you are, right now.

Alice Inoue is the founder of Happiness U. Visit yourhappinessu.com.