In the tradition of clearing out the clutter at the dawn of a new year, I’m unloading some random observations:

I think I figured out why Shaka Santa can’t quite wrap his plush robe around his naked bowl-full-of-jelly belly while spending the holidays at Honolulu Hale. Anyone else notice the jumbo soda cup and pop-top can of “Guava Java” prominently featured on the left side of the popular display?

I certainly did while stopped on Punchbowl Street as three busloads of grade-schoolers disembarked on their way to gawk at the Honolulu City Lights. I love Shaka Santa and Tutu Mele as much as the next person, but why are these global influencers shilling for sugary drinks proven to be a major contributor to America’s obesity epidemic? What message are we sending the thousands of impressionable children who visit this jolly scene annually?

It should be noted that a more positive dietary message appears on the right side of the display, with a bag of low-glycemic poi, steamed laulau and an unidentified beverage in a coconut shell. (Let’s hope it’s coconut water and not a mai tai, which could explain the couple’s cherry-red complexion.)

I don’t want to be accused of body-shaming, but why does Kris Kringle have to be overweight? (I’m looking at you, too, roly-poly Ala Moana Santa.) While the Honolulu City Lights decorations are in storage until next winter, maybe someone can switch out the offending beverages for reusable bottles of water. And while the makeover elves are at it, maybe they can sand a few inches off Shaka Santa’s 2-ton girth for a heart-healthier profile.

If only it were so easy for the rest of us.

HOW many times did you exclaim “It’s freezing!” during the recent cold snap? With the chilly-for-us-locals weather, I almost went crazy buying sweaters and jackets in all the holiday sales. I had to keep reminding myself that just a few weeks ago we were griping about months of steamy, voggy conditions that are certain to return any day now.

And why can’t I stop buying Christmas decorations? I’ve managed to seriously downsize every other aspect of my life, but then Longs discounts holiday merchandise 75 percent and I lose my mind.

I have five containers of decorations in the closet and we didn’t even put up a tree. But that 17-inch Beach Santa was only $5, marked down from $19.99 — what am I supposed to do?

AN ASTUTE reader pointed out that my last column, set in the late 1980s, mentioned I went into labor with my first child while shopping at Macy’s, when of course that retail chain didn’t take over our beloved Liberty House until 2001. Good catch.

Speaking of Macy’s, it’s practically the only retailer of any relevance to my life left at Ala Moana Center. And you gotta love a store that trumpets its frequent One-Day Sale events — happening Friday and Saturday with a preview on Thursday — with a straight face.

“She Speaks” is a weekly column by women writers of the Honolulu Star-Advertiser. Reach Christie Wilson at cwilson@staradvertiser.com.