It’s the last Sunday of October and time to “flASHback” on the month’s news that amused and confused:
>> After fumbling the football down the field in a chaotic selection process, the Police Commission scored a surprise touchdown with its popular choice of Maj. Susan Ballard as Honolulu’s new police chief. Hey, a touchdown is a touchdown. Go Chief.
>> Ballard promised a cleanup after former Chief Louis Kealoha was indicted along with his prosecutor wife, Katherine, on federal charges of conspiracy, obstruction, false statements, fraud and identity theft. They confused “protect and serve” with “help yourselves.”
>> President Donald Trump will stop in Hawaii ahead of his trip to Asia to visit the Arizona Memorial and be briefed by the U.S. Pacific Command. Get ready for a Category 5 Tweetstorm.
>> As Hawaii fretted about North Korean nuclear tensions, Secretary of State Rex Tillerson called Trump a “moron” for his nuclear zeal, and Trump challenged Tillerson to an IQ contest. Oh, for the good old days when Kim Jong Un was the only cuckoo clock in the parlor.
>> Trump proclaimed the week of Oct. 15 as National Character Counts Week. That was the week he insulted a war widow, lied about how his predecessors honored the fallen and promised a fight that “won’t be pretty” with cancer-stricken Sen. John McCain.
>> The city sent its $8.2 billion rail recovery plan to Washington without getting required City Council approval, and city attorney Donna Leong said, “It’s better to get approval after the fact than to not get approval at all.” The Council answered by mightily wielding its rubber stamp.
>> House Republican leader Andria Tupola said she’ll soon announce her candidacy for governor. She doesn’t enjoy as much name recognition as Gov. David Ige, but she has the advantage of a pulse.
>> Lt. Gov. Shan Tsutsui said he won’t seek a second term and will take a year to “recharge” before deciding his next step. Only the government could devise a $145,000-a-year, do-nothing job that takes another year of doing nothing to recover from.
>> Kauai Mayor Bernard Carvalho Jr. joined the crowded race to replace Tsutsui, but had no policy proposals. You don’t bring policies to this job; you bring the coffee and doughnuts.
>> The Honolulu Zoo’s chimpanzee exhibit reopened after a five-month closure. The chimps were on sabbatical to help write the city’s rail recovery plan.
And the quote of the month … from Mayor Kirk Caldwell, demanding Police Commissioner Max Sword not vote on a new chief because of a conflict of interest: “Even if the (Ethics) Commission finds that technically there is no conflict … a recusal would address even the slightest perception that there may be a conflict.” This applies to all conflicts except Caldwell’s $200,000-a-year side gig as a Territorial Bancorp director.
Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com.