When Honolulu’s new “distracted pedestrian” law was passed earlier this summer, it seemed so … parental. Do we really need the threat of citations and fines to remind us to look where we’re going when we cross the street?
Aren’t we assuming the worst of our fellow man? Can’t people be trusted to cross the street on their own recognizance? I mean, at this point we’ve all watched and laughed when someone walked into a pole or tripped on the sidewalk while texting. That’s on them for being stupid and clumsy.
But then I saw the kid ambling — no, it was even slower that that. What’s slower than ambling? Meandering? Drifting? Tootling! This kid was tootling across all six lanes of Kalanianaole during morning rush hour, her lazy thumb slowly sliding across her phone like la di dah, got all the time in the world, what me worry? She had earbuds in her ears, and I was trying to imagine what she was listening to that would make her walk so slowly. James Blunt? Harry Styles? Is Enya popular again?
If that was your kid, you would have rolled down the window and screamed and followed it up with a big lecture later at home. Or maybe that’s a throwback to parents of another generation, but still. Get moving, kid, and look where you’re going!
Oh, yeah. We need parental. And not a sweet, gentle reminder from a loving parent. We need the threat of hellfire from somebody who means business. We need fines of $15 to $99 and the shame of being stopped and cited by someone with the authority of law because you did not cross the street properly.
Perhaps the bill isn’t only about helping pedestrians stay safe. It’s also a concession to drivers who are stuck waiting to turn onto the road, gunning their engines while Tootles tootles past taking her sweet time. If a driver is busted for entering the crosswalk while some slowpoke James Blunt-warbling space case is still in the stripes, the penalties are significant.
Safety is one thing. Let’s not have folks dying on our roads if we can help it. Everyone can agree to that.
But expedience is an extremely valuable thing on this island. Everyone has someplace to go, not enough time to get there and crazy traffic to endure on the way.
Watching an oblivious texter take an extra 35 seconds to cross the street because they’re so lost in their electronic conversation is maddening. (Almost as maddening as watching unhelmeted moped drivers packing unhelmeted moped riders while buzzing down the highway holding a cellphone to their face to figure out where they’re going … but that’s another topic.)
The electronic devices pedestrian safety law goes into effect on Oahu on Oct. 25. Perhaps it will save lives. Perhaps it will save time.
Perhaps it will just give drivers another reason to want to roll down their windows and yell at the ambling, shuffling cellphone zombies, “Watch where you’re going! And hurry up!”
Reach Lee Cataluna at 529-4315 or lcataluna@staradvertiser.com.
