Julie Sparks cringes as the photographer arrives and starts studying portrait possibilities.
"I don’t like attention on me," she said. "I don’t like having my picture taken, I don’t like seeing my picture."
Sparks prefers to be "a little bit behind the scenes," which makes it both a bit ironic and perfectly logical that the Hawaii Kai resident — a wife, mother, businesswoman, child-welfare volunteer and third-year law student at the University of Hawaii’s William S. Richardson School of Law — has been selected as Hawaii’s Mother of the Year. The honor comes from the Hawaii chapter of American Mothers Inc., a national advocacy organization founded nearly 80 years ago by Norman Vincent Peale, Sarah Delano Roosevelt, Mamie Eisenhower and J.C. Penney.
Sparks, 49, will be honored at an event at the Hale Koa Banyan Tree Showroom on Saturday and will attend the 2014 Mom to Mom Conference, April 24-26, in Colorado Springs, Colo., where the National Mother of the Year will be announced.
She first heard of the contest through a former real estate client, but it was because of her children that she decided to enter. Her daughter, Paige Jimenez, 15, an aspiring model, had participated in a teen pageant but thought she’d be too busy to do it again this year.
"I thought we’ll both do this together," said the soft-spoken Sparks, whose blended clan includes husband Cory Sparks, 44, son Aaron Jimenez, 19, and stepdaughter Brittany Ibarra, 22, and her young family. "I was trying to set an example, so I did it."
She thinks the award is in recognition of the ever-evolving role of mothers.
"They’re trying to open it up to more than the stereotype," she said. "When you think Mother of the Year, you think of the person that just stays home and cooks and does nothing else but takes care of the kids and house. And they’re really trying to expand that to be a woman who can be working and still be Mother of the Year — working, involved in your community, setting an example for your kids in different ways, not just the traditional way."
It has hardly been a traditional, stable life for Sparks, a native of Michigan. She came to Hawaii about 20 years ago and helped her first husband, Al Jimenez, run his family medical practice in Ewa Beach. The couple went through a bad divorce, and just as their relationship was becoming more civil, Jimenez, who had moved part time to California, died of a sudden heart attack in 2012 while vacationing with Paige in Florida.
"That was a horrible feeling, getting the call that your daughter is in Florida in an emergency room and her dad had just died," Sparks said.
HER DECISION to go to law school stemmed partly from an interest in crime. "It was just a weird fascination, trying to figure why people do what they do and why things are the way they are. And you hear about dumb (court) decisions that don’t make any sense, and you think, How can that be possible? … and now I know how those things happen."
She was also upset with how her lawyer treated her during divorce proceedings. Although she had worked in her ex-husband’s medical practice, she wound up with custody of her children and "not much else." She had to move the family in with her mother, who was living in Hawaii.
"I really felt like my divorce attorney didn’t fight for me," said Sparks, who eventually got into real estate and is now an associate with Island Home Realty.
Sparks has taken on additional responsibilities beyond her law school studies. She runs the local chapter of the Federalist Society, a group that brings speakers to campus, and spends one day a week doing research for state Sen. Sam Slom at the Legislature. "I get to sit in some committee meetings and hear people testifying on stuff," she said.
She’s also done pro bono work for a program that deals with child welfare, inspiring her husband, whom she married in 2009, to pursue similar work on a volunteer basis.
"That work really makes a difference in families’ lives, but it’s gut-wrenching. I don’t know if I could do that and not bring it home," she said.
Sparks also has worked with the law school faculty on lawsuits and on developing curricula for two classes, one on professional responsibility and another on starting a law firm. She is scheduled to graduate in the spring and envisions a career in family law while continuing in real estate.
A tightly focused schedule allows her to balance work, school and home life. Weekends are spent at church and doing homework, Mondays at the Legislature, Tuesdays in class from 8:30 a.m. to 6:30 p.m., and Wednesdays doing homework and making real estate deals. Thursday — an "easy day" — is spent in class from 8:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m., while on Fridays she’s catching up with her real estate work and preparing for the weekend. Interspersed with all that are trips to the gym, driving Paige to school or her job or music lessons, taking care of the household and trying to cook as many meals as possible for the family.
"The only television show I watch is ‘The Walking Dead,’" she said.
PARENTING has been a lesson in making adjustments, particularly when her two oldest children decided not to attend college. "You have this vision in your head: You’re going to have a kid, they’re going to go to college and be successful and then you don’t have to worry," Sparks said. "After much struggling, we finally had to let go of that idea and redefine what a successful kid is.
"Now my definition of a good kid is: You’re living a good life, you’re a decent person who’s kind and honest and hardworking. And whatever your lifestyle is that goes along with that, it’s not as important as who you are inside as a person."
Son Jimenez enjoys his job with the Kona Brewing Co. and lives nearby; stepdaughter Ibarra is living in California, happily married with a 16-month-old baby.
The Hawaii Mother of the Year award didn’t surprise Sparks’ family, who think it’s well deserved. "She’s had a lot of challenges that we’ve all worked through together, and she was like the motivator that helped get us through that," said Paige, a sophomore at Kaiser High School.
Cory Sparks, a former Marine who now works as a civilian for the Navy, said his wife sets a good example for their children. "She puts a lot of effort into being not only a good mother, but a good mentor, ensuring that they have all the right skills for life and engaging them on an increasingly adult basis," he said. "She does a very good job at redefining her approach along those lines, so that she still comes across as relevant and contemporary."
Her decision to enter law school was applauded as part of that message, he said.
"It was just another way of expressing that she wasn’t done with life, that she wasn’t limited to a single profession or career. For her it’s just another way of setting a good example and being a good role model."
"I have a hard time being on vacation," said Julie Sparks. "I think it’s because I like everything I’m doing. … Everything I’m doing, I want to be doing."
