No whining is allowed, and princesses should leave their crowns at the door. These are just a couple of the policies instructor Steve McLaughlin has for his self-defense class.

"We teach these women and girls how to be bad guys," said McLaughlin, who has an eighth-degree black belt in Hawaiian jujitsu as well as black belts in judo, aiki-jitsu and karate.

Follow his rules, and mothers and daughters can learn strategies for self-defense at Kupale Hawaii, Women & Children’s Domestic Safety & Assault Prevention Class, which McLaughlin has taught for the past 35 years.

He said the class isn’t about learning to fight, but instead he focuses on escape and survival tactics. "We are committed to interviewing prisoners of violent crime to learn their favorite tricks," he said. "The average guy who assaults women does it for a living. You’re up against a pro and need to find a way to escape where your attacker can’t chase you."

One out of 8 women and children will be assaulted in their lifetime. McLaughlin rattles off such grim statistics to his classes. "Most assaults are done by people that you’ve met. Many assaults are committed in the victim’s own home."

More than 30 subjects are covered during the four-hour class, including how to deal with a dog attack, how to get out of chokeholds, first aid, working with a police sketch artist and how to change a flat tire in 10 seconds.

About half of the participants are mother-daughter teams. Though the class is geared toward women and girls, boys (ages 10 to 17) may also sign up, and once in a while, McLaughlin said, he makes an exception to allow a father to bring his daughter. "It’s a real eye-opener to these guys."

"We focus on pure strength and knowledge of anatomy," since the typical tactics used to escape might not always work, he explained. "They (offenders) are waiting to be kicked in the groin, so they can grab her leg."

"Intimidation is a man’s No. 1 weapon," McLaughlin warned. "They may create scenarios and play mind games to see if the victims are gullible."

More than 12,000 women have taken the course in the past 30 years. He’s taught diverse group of participants, including blind women and women in wheelchairs. He said his oldest student was 86.

Although folks tend to freeze up in stressful situations, the skills learned could make a difference in survival, he said. "People will do what they are trained to do when they come to their senses. This class can change a women’s life in four hours."