Straight people no longer have exclusive domain on paying alimony in Hawaii and the hammer-wielding comic book avenger Thor has a local wannabe as we "flASHback" on November news that amused and confused:
» The Legislature approved same-sex marriage in a special session, and Gov. Neil Abercrombie signed the measure into law. Gay people will soon have the same right as everyone else to pursue happiness at the cost of their liberty.
» Many questions about marital rights remain unanswered. For instance, if there is no woman in a marriage — or two women — who gets the last word in an argument?
» The state is personalizing marriage certificates, with couples able to choose from "bride and groom," "groom and groom" or "bride and bride." Those seeking a one-size-fits-all solution can pick "ball and chain."
» Waikiki Rep. Tom Brower walked his district with a sledgehammer to smash shopping carts used by homeless people, saying it’s a wake-up call. And he had the perfect voice to sound the alarm: "Cuckoo."
» Brower said vigilante action wouldn’t be needed if more was done to get crazies off the streets. After a flood of bad publicity, he set an example and started with himself.
» President Barack Obama named Abercrombie to serve with 25 other elected officials on his Climate Preparedness and Resilience Task Force. With that much hot air in the room, will they solve global warming or cause it?
» CGI Group Inc., the company involved in the state’s botched $53 million Obamacare rollout and a faulty $87.5 million computerized tax system, will be allowed to bid on a new $32 million contract to replace the tax system. That’s our state government: If at first you don’t succeed, fail, fail again.
» The state Campaign Spending Commission has a new app to help voters visualize political spending. Candidate receipts can be tracked by pie charts, ZIP codes and brown paper bags.
» The City Council voted 9-0 to approve Castle & Cooke’s Koa Ridge development, with members Carol Fukunaga, Ann Kobayashi, Joey Manahan and Ron Menor voting "yes with reservations." Their reservation was that campaign donations from developers would dry up if they had the guts to vote no.
» Council members want city sewer investigators to look into a foul odor emanating from Kakaako. You smell it every time the Hawaii Community Development Authority rubber-stamps a new high-rise.
» Scientists are tagging tiger sharks with locational devices to follow their mating movements on the Internet. If it works, the same system can track how legislators and lobbyists hook up.
And the quote of the month … from University of Hawaii football coach Norm Chow after another tough loss: "I’m too old for this." But for $550,000 a year, he’ll suck it up and keep losing.
Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com or blog.volcanicash.net.