Families are making special visits to cemeteries today, places dotted with the names of loved ones who died in military service, a gesture to demonstrate that they have not been forgotten. Among the latest names added to the roster, which serves as a reminder of the heavy toll of war, is Air Force Capt. Reid Nishizuka.

Memorial Day is the perfect occasion to reflect on the loss of Nishizuka, 30, one of four airmen killed April 27 when the MC-12 Liberty reconnaissance aircraft he was piloting crashed near Kandahar Field in southern Afghanistan. Born and raised in Kailua, Nishi-zuka had completed three tours in Iraq and one in Afghanistan. At that point, he and his brother, Chad, had spent their entire Air Force careers at war.

"You get so used to it, and you don’t really think about it," Chad Nishizuka said, "but this is definitely a good reminder of the fact that we are still at war."

How right he is. Not since the Vietnam era has America been in a state of war for this long.

After the 9/11 attacks and the advent of a "global war on terror," it seemed as if there would be no escaping the sense of a "perpetual wartime footing," as President Barack Obama phrased it in an address last week.

The president delivered the speech at Washington’s National Defense University as a means of turning a page on the "war on terror" approach conducted by the Bush administration and continued throughout his first term.

It should not have taken so long for Obama to come to this point — in some ways this administration has amplified the aggressiveness of President George Bush’s war policy. But come to it he has, and better late than never.

Perhaps the most disturbing aspect of the Obama presidency has been its secrecy, especially surrounding the use of unmanned drones to target and kill enemies hidden in more remote spots on the planet. Many people pointed to the assassination of an American citizen, Anwar al-Awlaki. The problem: These enemies weren’t so hidden or so remote that the attacks could avoid killings of innocents.

Obama never came clean on al-Awlaki before, nor on the fact that three other Americans had been killed, albeit unintentionally. Now he’s talking, underlining that he briefed Congress on every case of drone attacks.

Regardless, the general public needed a clearer understanding of the rationale and criteria of the program than what was given, after the fact, to an elite group of elected officials.

At least one takeaway message is welcome: The criteria supporting a drone dispatch would be tougher, requiring more of an imminent threat to the U.S. before an attack is authorized. That certainly would be a necessary step to give any credence to Obama’s assertion that this country is pivoting toward a war-as-last-resort policy and away from preemptive strikes.

And if Obama is to improve on keeping his high-profile campaign promises, he also needs to follow through on that new resolve to move Guantanamo Bay detainees home or to trial.

War is a constant of human experience through history, but it can’t be happening constantly. It has become more diffuse across the globe and the U.S. needs new strategizing to cope with it. Locally, perhaps the move to review Hawaii’s Stryker Brigade reflects this shift, as well as budgetary constraints.

The late U.S. Sen. Daniel Inouye championed the Stryker program for Hawaii. That voice is silent and the more conventional shape of the war he knew is changing. But in an interview shortly before his death, The captured a sentiment about war that’s evergreen: "You don’t forget the horrors of war."

Nobody would. Nor do those of us shielded from those horrors forget Capt. Nishizuka, and all those others we have lost to war.