The University of Hawaii and the Hawaii County Council dazzled us with games of circle the wagons as we plant tongue in cheek and "flASHback" on the week’s news that amused and confused:

» After releasing a heavily redacted report on the Stevie Wonder concert debacle, UH Board of Regents Chairman Eric Martinson said he’s "deeply sorry," and President M.R.C. Greenwood added she’s "very, very sorry" as well as "sincerely sorry." So the redacted version of the official explanation is "sorry … sorry … sorry."

» Regents met with Greenwood behind closed doors for 71⁄2 hours and then said nobody will be punished for losing $200,000 on the bogus concert. At UH, due diligence means taking the time to get your cover story straight.

» UH will pay $30,000 in legal fees for ex-athletic director Jim Donovan, in addition to his new $211,200-a-year job in the chancellor’s office. The deal split the difference between accountability and deniability.

» Leaders of the state’s political establishment intensely lobbied regents to save Donovan’s job. If carelessness with public money becomes a firing offense, who knows who could be next?

» The Hawaii County Council stood behind County Clerk Jamae Kawauchi, with one member praising her for a "tremendous job," after an election fiasco in which polling places opened late and the governor had to declare an emergency. Refreshments at the Council meeting must have included the island’s leading agricultural product.

» The Board of Education gave Superintendent Kathryn Matayoshi only a middling grade in her annual review. Considering she runs the biggest state agency and is paid less than three-fourths of what Jim Donovan gets for his make-work job, I’d grade her a heck of a bargain.

» Kirk Caldwell’s 18-year-old daughter, Maya, was caught burning mayoral rival Ben Cayetano’s campaign sign, but Cayetano excused it because "we’ve all done foolish things when we were young." If only we outgrew it with age.

» Elvis, a 30-pound siamang gibbon, caused quite a stir at Honolulu Zoo when he made a daring escape from his enclosure. Zookeepers captured the ape before he could file to run for Tulsi Gabbard’s Council seat.

» A Hawaii island man arrested for lewdness last month for having public sex on a Kona sidewalk was busted again for going at it with a different woman in a Hilo park. He’s an X-rated Johnny Appleseed.

And the quote of the week … from Councilman Tom Berg, taking exception to my item last week joking about his blowup with colleague Breene Harimoto: "You think I enjoy being a loudmouthed bastard? I do not. But this rail is one big con job — bigger than the movie ‘The Sting!’ I have to exhibit unbecoming behavior to get the media to cover the scandals." OK …

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Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com or blog.volcanicash.net.