Let’s start with inspiring words to live by as we "flASHback" on the week’s news that amused and confused:
» Alvin Kuo Wong of Manoa, designated the Happiest Man in America, said being too serious causes stress, and his key to happiness is that he’s "always made fun of things." How true. The best way to avoid getting stress is to give it.
» Good-government groups say there’s more "gut-and-replace" action than ever in this year’s Legislature. That’s when lawmakers gut the people’s business and replace it with their monkey business.
» House Finance Chairman Marcus Oshiro won the "Capitol Idol" talent contest with a spirited performance in drag. Colleagues who’ve bugged him all session to "show me the money" saw more than they bargained for.
» House and Senate conferees met to negotiate a state budget, with Oshiro and Senate Ways and Means Chairman David Ige sitting side by side instead of across the table from each other. They called it a gesture of cooperation, but Ige just wanted to get cozy with Lady Gaga.
» Workers removed glass doors on the second floor of the Capitol that were sealing the offices of state senators from their constituents. The least they could do is warn us when they release legislators into the wild.
» Former state land director Laura H. Thielen announced she’ll run for the state Senate as a Democrat despite the disapproval of party leaders. People don’t respect political monopolies like they used to.
» Organizers of a tea party rally at the Capitol were disappointed when only a few dozen protesters showed up. Sorry I missed it, but sipping oolong with tax grouches isn’t my idea of happy hour.
» E.J. Delacruz, 18, is running for City Council in District 1 (West Oahu), hoping to become the youngest member ever. With all the drama involving the leading candidates, incumbent Councilman Tom Berg and state Rep. Kymberly Pine, the kid may be the closest thing to an adult in the race.
» A robber in downtown Hilo snatched a purse from an 86-year-old woman. There hasn’t been that brazen an attack on a senior citizen since congressional Republicans snatched away Sen. Daniel Inouye’s earmarks.
» Legislators are promoting a space enterprise district in Hilo after astronaut Buzz Aldrin suggested Hawaii island is a perfect learning lab for human settlements in space. If they can settle Puna, they can settle anywhere.
And the quote of the week … from happiest man Wong on his visit with state senators: "These are our elected officials rubbing my head, rubbing my shoulders and rubbing my stomach like a Buddha. They said they wanted my happiness to rub off. I thought, ‘What is going on with this?’" Most likely, they were looking for his wallet.
———
Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com or blog.volcanicash.net.
