Joe Moore sent me the script of the latest play he’s written, "Will and Henry: An Evening With Will Rogers and H.L. Mencken," which Moore adapted from the works of the beloved cowboy philosopher and the crusty journalist.
The KHON-TV anchor will saddle up again with his friend Pat Sajak to perform the play in June as a benefit for the Hawaii Theatre.
For a change of pace, I’ll share some jewels Moore compiled from two American masters of pointed political commentary. The words are nearly a century old, but still relevant:
Rogers: "Seems to me, the more you read and observe about politics you got to admit that each party is worse than the other, and the one that’s out always looks the best. My only solution would be to keep em both out."
Mencken: "If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner. Looking for an honest politician is like looking for an ethical burglar."
Rogers: "It wasn’t that Coolidge didn’t do nothing. It was that he did it better than anyone else."
Mencken: "I confess I enjoy democracy immensely. It exalts dunderheads, cowards and frauds. But the pain of seeing them go up is balanced and obliterated by the joy of seeing them come down."
Rogers: "Our national budget … it’s a mythical beanbag. Congress votes mythical beans into it and tries to reach in and pull real beans out. Ole Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even."
Mencken: "A professional politician is a professionally dishonorable man. In order to get anywhere near high office he has to make so many compromises and submit to so many humiliations that he becomes indistinguishable from a streetwalker."
Rogers: "Seems to me these big men who are giving speeches about better times coming would do more for the country if they gave jobs instead of speeches."
Mencken: "I firmly believe that everyone is entitled to their own ridiculous opinions."
Rogers: "People call me a humorist and think that’s something, but there’s no trick to it. I just watch the government and report the facts."
Mencken: "It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything.I am strongly in favor of common sense, honesty and common decency, which of course makes me forever ineligible for public office."
Rogers: "Common sense ain’t so common."
Mencken: "We must respect the other fellow’s religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart."
Rogers: "Everybody is ignorant, just on different subjects."
Mencken: "Cynics are right nine times out of 10."
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