Gov. Neil Abercrombie returned from his 12-day tour of Asia looking to revive his sinking approval ratings at home as we plant tongue in cheek and "flASHback" on the week’s news that amused and confused:
» Despite a new poll showing him to be the least popular governor in the nation with only 30 percent voter approval, Abercrombie insisted he won’t change direction. There’s been a direction?
» The governor tried to resuscitate his sagging "New Day" agenda by proposing to build the state’s tallest building in Kakaako. You’ve got to admit there’s no more fitting symbol of his governance than a Tower of Babble.
» Abercrombie said his biggest regret of his first year is that he didn’t explain the issues more clearly to the public. Translation: He wishes he’d blamed more of his failures on Linda Lingle.
» The latest poll showed that President Barack Obama’s popularity has also been sliding slightly in Hawaii, but he’s still far more popular here than in any other state. So are Spam and karaoke.
» After dining with Donald Trump, GOP presidential candidate Rick Perry voiced new doubts about Obama’s Hawaii birth — and then said he was just kidding. He was pulling the leg of the dead mongoose that Trump wears as a hairpiece.
» Republican national chairman Reince Priebus denounced the rumor-mongering about Obama’s U.S. citizenship as a "a big distraction." With his field of candidates, he needs one.
» For next month’s Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation conference, the Secret Service has decided that Oahu freeways and roads will be closed only for the motorcades of Obama and his counterparts from Russia and China. The other 18 heads of state attending the summit have been code-named "Chopped Liver."
» U.S. Sen. Daniel Inouye is maneuvering to insert language into a congressional appropriations bill that would designate Native Hawaiians as an Indian tribe. If he can’t have his pork barrel anymore, he’ll bring home the wampum.
» City parks officials plan to start charging user fees to sports leagues and clubs that use municipal fields, courts and pools. Pretty soon, the only heavy users getting free use of public parks will be drug users.
» University of Hawaii regents voted to subject students to 35 percent tuition increases through the next five years, which UH President M.R.C. Greenwood described as "modest." Of course, what’s modest is relative for somebody who gets a $5,000-a-month state allowance for a luxury condo in addition to the state mansion available for her use.
And the quote of the week … from Abercrombie on his administration’s missteps and his poor approval ratings in the polls: "I play all four quarters and we’re in the first quarter." He has enough time left to put the all-time record for fumbles out of reach.
Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com or blog.volcanicash.net.