The new year is a fresh start, a chance to mend frayed relationships.
So let me offer the olive branch to public officials I may have offended in 2024 with inspirational quotations from the great minds to guide them into 2025.
For President Joe Biden: “Vanity keeps persons in favor with themselves who are out of favor with all others.” — William Shakespeare
For Donald Trump and alter ego Elon Musk: “One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, there ain’t nothing can beat teamwork.” — Edward Abbey
For Gov. Josh Green: “He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow.” — George Eliot
For Lt. Gov. Sylvia Luke: “Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.” — Scott Adams
For Senate President Ron Kouchi: “It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.” — Andy Borowitz
For House Speaker Nadine Nakamura: “Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.” — Samuel Butler
For OHA Chairman Kai Kahele: “If you’re feeling cocky, it’s because there’s something you don’t know.” — Eoin Colfer
For Mayor Rick Blangiardi: “My mother always used to say the older you get, the better you get. Unless you’re a banana.” — Rose from “Golden Girls”
For City Council Chair Tommy Waters: “I’d like to live like a poor man, only with lots of money.” — Pablo Picasso
For Honolulu rail CEO Lori Kahikina: “Engineers: We put the ‘fun’ in ‘function’ and the ‘laughter’ in ‘infrastructure.’” — Anonymous
For Police Chief Arthur “Joe” Logan: “Throw down your guns, and come on out with your hands up. Or come on out, then throw down your guns, whichever way you wanna do it. Just remember the two key elements here: One, guns to be thrown down; two, come on out!” — Frank Drebin from “ The Naked Gun 2 1/2”
For U.S. Sen. Brian Schatz: “A promising young man should go into politics so that he can go on promising for the rest of his life.” — Robert Byrne
For U.S. Sen. Mazie Hirono: “Liberals are very broadminded; they are always willing to give careful consideration to both sides of the same side.” — Thomas Sowell
For U.S. Rep. Jill Tokuda: “Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.” — Suzanne McMinn
For U.S. Rep. Ed Case: “Is it weird in here, or is it just me?” — Steven Wright
For Hawaii election administrator Scott Nago: “We have a deeply divided body politic. Half of our population believes our elections are broken, the other half believes they are fixed.” — Steve Bhaerman
For schools Superintendent Keith Hayashi: “America is the best half-educated country in the world.” — Nicholas Murray Butler
For new University of Hawaii President Wendy Hensel: “Don’t be a hero! It’s not covered by the health plan.” — Hermes from “Futurama”
For Aloha Stadium Manager Ryan Andrews: “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.” — Douglas Adams
For national intelligence nominee Tulsi Gabbard: “A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance when the need for illusion is deep.” — Saul Bellow
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Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com.
Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com.