Florida native Nicholas Dworet had an “obsession” with Hawaii since he was a young boy, his family said, amazing them every time he said with ease the name of the state fish — “humuhumunukunukuapuaa.”
A month before turning 18, the swimmer and captain of his high school swim team signed with the University of Indianapolis on an athletic-academic scholarship, and was ecstatic to learn the university team would be training in Hawaii.
Exactly one week later on Feb. 14, 2018, Dworet was among 17 killed by a gunman at the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, in the deadliest high school shooting in U.S. history. Additionally 17 were injured, including his younger brother, Alex, who suffered a shrapnel wound to the back of his head.
His family thought it fitting that on Wednesday, his 21st birthday, Dworet should have his wish of coming to Hawaii realized, and held a ceremony in his honor at Lanikai Beach.
His mother, Annika Dworet, 51, recalled that after the shooting a 3-mile-long lei was sent to Parkland, and wanted to thank the group responsible in person.
Some who participated in the Lei of Aloha project came from Maui, and helped arrange the ceremony in Dworet’s honor, with hula, song, a chant and presentation of a mile-long lei with 17 shells representing the 17 souls taken.
Canoe paddlers from Lanikai brought his ashes halfway out to the Mokulua islands and scattered them.
Mitch Dworet, Nicholas’ 61-year-old father, said he felt “grateful for the folks, the loving kindness and the spirituality that they want us to know that ‘we care for you and that we know what you’re going through. We have compassion for you.’ It is really supportive on our journey.”
Annika Dworet said: “It helps with the healing.” She found the ceremony and the Hawaiian culture “very interesting and very spiritual,” adding the lei-making was incredible.
“You could feel the energy,” Mitch Dworet said. The sun and a rainbow appeared, he said, as Kimokeo Kapahulehua chanted and spoke “about being a part of a family here and having Nick here.”
Annika Dworet said: “Some of the local people said that you will always take care of Nick here in the ocean.”
“Because he is here,” Mitch Dworet added.
“Swimming with the humuhumu,” she said.
The Dworets spoke to the Honolulu Star-Advertiser after the ceremony at a Lanikai home, where they are staying.
Younger brother Alex, whose head wound has long healed — its scar barely visible — must bear the emotional scars of that day three years ago when he witnessed the horrific events at his school.
“It was just devastating,” he said. “It’s hard to put into words.”
Alex, then a freshman, was in a classroom diagonally across the hall from his brother’s classroom.
Mitch Dworet said, “Alex also is impacted. … He witnessed a lot,” and will be a witness at trial.
Although the parents continue to speak of and honor Nick, he said: “The resiliency my other son showed, what he went through, it’s really important to us to mention that.”
The brothers had walked to school together, and their parents were outside waiting for them when the shooting occurred.
Alex called his parents from an ambulance.
Alex Dworet, now 18 and a senior, chose to return to the same high school to be with friends and others who had gone through the same things he had.
He had also been a swimmer, like his brother, and a platform diver. The two brothers were great friends, their parents said.
Annika Dworet said of Nick: “I think he was just coming to the point in his life when everything was coming together. He was choosing the college, he was very determined to be a great swimmer and was very dedicated to his practice. And he was in love with his girlfriend.
“He was a very happy person. He was very kind, humble. Great sportsmanship.”
Mitch Dworet added, “A leader, captain of his swim team. … He loved music, new foods. He loved to eat. Sushi buffets, Asian food, bubble tea, mochi, poke bowls. He would clean the plates of his friends.”
The pain of his loss is still fresh for the family.
“It doesn’t go away, but we try to be here for each other and for others,” Mitch Dworet said.
They have met other victims of mass shootings, who have helped them learn to cope, and have maintained contact with the other 16 families in the Parkland shooting.
The Dworets said the news about the recent mass shootings in Boulder, Colo., where 10 people were killed Monday by a gunman at a grocery store, and in Atlanta, where a gunman killed eight people at three spas, has been difficult for them.
“For us, it’s triggering, so we try to stay away from all the news and social media and the politics of it because we know it’s the same story over and over,” Mitch Dworet said.
Annika Dworet said: “It’s hard because we wanted this day to be about Nick, not about how he died but how he lived, but knowing in the back of my head this just happened to 18 other families.”
Mitch Dworet said: “We know the reality and we have to address it as a nation.
But he advises: “Stay away from the politics of it, for the moment.”
The couple recommends self-care, accepting help from others.
“I think it’s important to focus on the grieving process,” Annika Dworet said. “As hard as it is, and still is for us, you have to go through that process. You have to let yourself feel those feelings and have love and support around you. It’s extremely traumatic.
“And seek support from other people who have gone through — because there are organizations— that have gone through the same thing.”
They also encourage getting mental health help, specifically trauma counseling.
“Even though we were not there that day, you still suffer from virtual trauma knowing what your children went through and what they saw,” Annika Dworet said.
“How he died is so extremely painful,” she said. So the family tries to focus on how he lived, the type of person he was and “think back on the beautiful memories that we got to share with him for those 17 years he was with us.”
The couple has set up a nonprofit, Nicholas Dworet Memorial Fund (swim4nick.org) to keep his legacy alive, to help inspire other swimmers, to support scholarships and to offer free swim clinics in Florida.
“He inspired many people in the swimming community specifically, when he was here, and still does,” his mother said.