Many baby boomers in Hawaii made big a promise to our parents. We told them we would take care of them as they aged and never put them in a nursing home. I was one of those who made that promise, and I was resolved to keep my word.
My noble goal was put to the test about 10 years ago. My mom suffered a mini stroke and shortly after that, my dad, who was always faithfully by her side to take care of her, fell down a flight of 15 stairs one day, breaking three ribs. It was about that same time I learned that mom was earlier diagnosed with dementia. It was a difficult time for me.
I believed that I could do it all: be a good daughter and lead by example in the workplace. At the time, I was an executive working up to 80 hours a week. As my responsibilities for my parents’ care mounted, I had to reduce my hours to under 50 hours a week, but to my dismay was told that I “no longer fit the company’s plan.”
Suddenly without a job that I had worked so hard for and loved, I was filled with a range of emotions. I had no choice but to temporarily put my career on hold, moved in with my parents, and uphold my promise.
Looking back, it was a traumatic time. I was joining the growing number of unpaid family caregivers in Hawaii, but I felt alone and isolated. Time has passed, but the memories are vivid and the pain is still real.
Since starting my nonprofit organization that offers a support group for family caregivers, I realize there are many who struggle in the same caregiver journey. They have made tremendous sacrifices to put their family first.
Paid family and medical leave would be a big relief for caregivers. It provides working ohana with paid time off from work to care for and bond with a new keiki or to address caregiving needs for loved ones.
The United States is the only developed country without national paid family leave. To fill that gap, 13 states plus the District of Columbia have passed paid family leave laws. There are currently bills under consideration at the state Capitol to create a paid family leave program similar to those that are working well in other states. Hawaii should join them and pass paid family and medical leave.
The paid time off helps working people balance work and family, giving them time to develop plans of action to create a smoother transitions for their loved ones. This is something long overdue in Hawaii. If other states can figure out how to make it work, why can’t we? In our islands, we value ‘ohana and celebrate cultures that emphasize respect for elders, but we don’t currently have policies that reflect these cherished values.
When I read the 194 pages of testimonies in a response to a recent legislative committee hearing on paid family and medical leave (House Bill 755), the majority of those who shared their concerns clearly are favor of this bill. It’s time to pay attention to Hawaii’s families. We need to demand Hawaii’s bureaucrats start listening, and instead of expending energy on why paid family leave in Hawaii cannot work, focus on what we can do.
We must figure it out so that future generations don’t have to experience what I did. With paid family and medical leave, we can create a better future for those who will be the next generation of family caregivers.
Savy Makalena is founder/CEO of Gimme A Break, a nonprofit focused on caregivers’ well-being by giving them breaks and providing resources.
