Amid the punditry about former Hawaii U.S. Rep. Tulsi Gabbard’s extreme makeover from Bernie Sanders devotee to Donald Trump’s nominee for national intelligence director, I revisited my old “flASHback” columns on news that amused and confused to see how my one- liners had her pegged. My favorites (tightened for space):
>> After less than five months on the City Council, Tulsi Gabbard, 30, wants a promotion to Congress. Kids today think the fast-forward button works on everything.
>> Tulsi Gabbard said of her new House seat, “There’s no better job I could ask for.” That’s why she asked for deceased Sen. Daniel Inouye’s job before her House swearing-in.
>> Rep. Tulsi Gabbard spent thousands in campaign funds on cameras to record herself. Gone are the days when a mirror was enough to admire her image.
>> Rep. Tulsi Gabbard told a reporter she’s open to running for vice president next year, but later backtracked. She threw her hat in the ring and pulled it out when it filled with laughter.
>> Rep. Tulsi Gabbard, who backed Bernie Sanders over Hillary Clinton for the Democratic presidential nod, said she’s not ready to support Clinton. She’s waiting to see whether Donald Trump offers her a celebrity apprenticeship.
>> Rep. Tulsi Gabbard was the first Democrat invited to meet with the president-elect, and said they discussed the Middle East. After days of meeting experts, Trump was relieved to talk to someone who shared his remedial understanding of foreign policy.
>> Rep. Tulsi Gabbard took heat from both parties for a secretive trip to Syria that became a lovefest with murderous dictator Bashar al-Assad. Gabbard responded to criticism by checking her TV ratings.
>> Tulsi Gabbard announced she’s running for president, picked a fight with Sen. Mazie Hirono and was challenged for her House seat by state Sen. Kai Kahele, then declared, “I’m not thinking about politics right now.” Too busy thinking about TULSI.
>> Tulsi Gabbard sued Hillary Clinton for $50 million for calling her a Russian favorite, using the same law firm representing Rudy Giuliani in the Ukraine scandal. Next, she’ll be on stage with Donald Trump yelling, “Lock her up!”
>> Trump defended Gabbard, saying, “I don’t know Tulsi but she’s not a Russian agent.” Putin would have told him if he was adding to the team.
>> Tulsi Gabbard continues running for president despite winning few votes in Iowa and 3% in New Hampshire. Only in presidential politics can a distant also-ran collect a $174,000 congressional salary to travel the country on other people’s money auditioning for a job on Fox News.
>> Tulsi Gabbard used the pandemic as an excuse to end her fantasy presidential campaign and support Joe Biden. Her endorsement assures Biden all the electoral votes from Never Never Land.
>> Tulsi Gabbard joined Rumble, a conservative YouTube rival, to produce content as a “thought leader.” She’s a thought leader mainly when it comes to thinking about Tulsi Gabbard.
>> Tulsi Gabbard, who ran for president as a progressive Democrat, joined Donald Trump, Ted Cruz and Marjorie Taylor Greene in headlining a conservative Republican event. To paraphrase Groucho: If you don’t like her principles, she has others.
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Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com.
Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com.
