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Column: Therapy is fruitful resource for couples

Dr. Blendine Hawkins

Dr. Blendine Hawkins

During Domestic Violence Awareness Month, currently being observed, much of the conversation centers on the devastating impact of abuse and the critical need for individuals in dangerous situations to find safety. Protecting the immediate well-being of those facing life-threatening harm is of utmost importance and swift action is needed to shield those at risk.

However, an equally important aspect of addressing domestic violence is the need to train more licensed marriage and family therapists. Counseling and therapy are vital tools for supporting survivors and strengthening relationships before they reach a crisis point.

Counseling sessions offer a safe and confidential space for survivors to share their feelings, thoughts and fears. Therapists, as nonjudgmental third parties, provide a unique perspective, helping individuals process their experiences in ways that even the most well-meaning friends or family members may not be able to. This professional support can be critical in helping individuals consider whether to leave an abusive relationship, as well as how and when to take that step. These services empower survivors to gain clarity and confidence about their choices, making it easier to take steps toward safety.

Leaving an abusive environment is rarely straightforward, with challenges such as financial dependence, emotional ties and fear often making it difficult. Even after exiting such relationships, many survivors experience depression, stress, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), as results of the physical or psychological abuse. The trauma can also impact the entire family — parents, children and extended family — and without appropriate support, these challenges can hinder the overall well-being of the family.

Marriage and family therapists are not only vital for crisis intervention but also for early relationship support. Preventive counseling can help couples navigate challenges before they become unmanageable. Much like preventive medicine helps stave off physical ailments, early counseling intervention can fortify emotional and relational health, offering couples the tools they need to manage life’s stresses before they escalate.

While many look at counseling as a last resort for a troubled relationship, it should be considered much earlier. Many marital conflicts, if left unaddressed, can gradually escalate over time, eventually leading to separation, divorce or, in the worst case, violence. Early intervention through counseling can resolve conflicts before they spiral out of control.

Counseling and therapy are also beneficial during key life transitions, such as getting married, moving in together, having children, managing finances or setting relationship expectations. Marriage and family therapists serve as interpreters between partners, facilitating better communication, conflict resolution and mutual respect — essential components of any healthy relationship.

Recognizing the growing need for trained professionals, Chaminade University launched its master of science in marriage and family therapy (MS-MFT) program, the only one of its kind in Hawaii. The program equips candidates with the skills and knowledge necessary for clinical practice and licensure in the state. Coupled with our doctoral program in marriage and family therapy, these initiatives are making a significant impact on local families by expanding access to quality therapeutic care.

In my own work, I have been able to assist clients on all sides: supported individuals healing from childhood abuse and intimate partner violence; assisted couples striving to rebuild relationships worth saving; and helped those just entering a relationship in building a healthy foundation for success in their partnership.

As poet John Donne famously wrote, “No man is an island.” Our relationships deeply shape our sense of self, and marriage and family therapists understand the profound influence these connections have on the health of individuals, families and ultimately, our communities.


Dr. Blendine Hawkins is director of Chaminade University’s doctor of marriage and family therapy program.


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