The Pro Bowl would be as close as it is to actual football if it were played by pro bowlers. Yeah, professional bowlers.
But, while Jason Belmonte can send pins flying every which way with that heavy ball, can he do the same against a wedge of blockers with his own body?
Yes, I know … that joke’s as obsolete as if I’d used Earl Anthony as the bowler; wedges and, hence, wedge busters are a thing of the past in pro football.
And in Sunday’s Pro Bowl, there were as many kickoffs as in a PBA tournament: zero.
That was by design, as the NFL tested out a rule it might employ in the future for overtime and perhaps eventually all the time.
There’s been lots of talk about eliminating kickoffs altogether in the name of player safety since statistics show that concussions occur at a higher rate on them than on other plays. (Except for touchbacks, of course. And I’m pretty much for any rule change that cuts back or eliminates touchbacks, which are the biggest waste of time in sports after the intentional walk.)
The experimental rule used Sunday is called “spot and choose,” where the team that wins the coin toss has the option of choosing offense or defense, or deciding where the ball is placed. When the spot is determined, the other team chooses offense or defense.
Also, after each score, the other team gets the ball on its own 25. Unless the scoring team decides to keep the ball … but faces fourth-and-15 from its own 25-yard line. Eventually, this could be the fix for the extinction of the onside kick option when desperately trying to come from behind late in a game.
On Sunday, it was, “Why not? Let’s try it.”
Well, with the benefit of hindsight, “Why not?” would be because the teams went a combined 0-for-8 trying it.
When you think about it, this game is a good place for such experiments, since no one really wants to cover kicks in the Pro Bowl anyway (well, except maybe guys like Matthew Slater, the perennial special teams Pro Bowl selection from the Patriots).
It was our money-making gag for many years. Or was it?
Who, exactly, was the joke on then, and now?
Was it the state of Hawaii, which paid millions every year to host?
Maybe not, if you consider the millions more brought into the state by tourism … people who came for the game itself, and future visitors who saw the sunny skies on TV in early February.
Or was it those sold-out crowds of 50,000 every year that spent plenty of money for tickets to watch a “fake” football game?
Maybe the joke was on and is still on anyone expecting the Pro Bowl to be anything similar to a real football game.
Is there any sport harder to replicate than football — often called the ultimate team game — when you bring a bunch of players together for just a few days to prepare? Especially when many of them are spending more time on the golf course than the practice field? Or, in the case of Sunday’s game in Las Vegas, perhaps they were at the baccarat tables?
It’s funny that people complain about there being no tackling in the Pro Bowl. (And, yes, it is true that fewer players had to pick themselves off the ground Sunday than during a typical day-before-a-game walk-through practice.)
Why would anyone risk injury in a game where the outcome is nearly meaningless?
I still watch the Pro Bowl, even though it’s not here, out of curiosity. While it’s not “real football,” anything can and does happen.
Remember when?
>> Cleveland Browns center Alex Mack ran 40 yards with a lateral for a touchdown in 2011, blowing up the only guy who tried to tackle him on the way to the end zone?
>> Special teams player Steve Tasker of the Bills was the MVP of the 1993 game when he caught two touchdown passes, two more than the entire season?
>> Jeff Saturday switched conferences for a play in 2017 so he could snap the ball one last time to his old compadre, Peyton Manning?
I don’t think most of the 6.7 million viewers who tuned in Sunday (still more than the NBA All-Star Game) expected tackling.
In 2004, the AFC won 55-52, in what was either the greatest or worst game ever, depending on what you like.
Yeah, there wasn’t much tackling going on then, either.
But were you entertained?
It does seem like something is missing every year around this time. Not everyone, though, thought it was a great financial deal for the state.
“The Pro Bowl had a great run in Hawaii,” state Sen. Glenn Wakai said. “If professional football returns to the islands, we need to negotiate a better contract. Spending $5.5 million for a week of fun and four hours of TV exposure isn’t a good return on investment. The NFL should come to Hawaii because they can sell tickets, solidify their fan base, and attract sponsorships, not because they got public funds. Bruno Mars didn’t ask the state for a dime.”
Yes, of course, the Pro Bowl is a joke. It always was. But it’s a fun one.
Until we have a stadium that could possibly host it again, maybe we shouldn’t laugh too hard, though.