Paddy De Luna and her little girl are slowly finding peace and order in their lives, relieved that her husband is in prison while awaiting trial for domestic abuse.

She’s returned to work full time, paying off debts he racked up on her credit cards, and going through divorce proceedings. But it will be a long time before De Luna recovers from the emotional turmoil of her short marriage.

She said the only good thing about their relationship was that it took just a few months for the nightmare to end.

It began in August 2020. “He was a Prince Charming in the beginning,” she said, and the couple got married that October. After years of being homeless, De Luna said, “all I ever wanted was a family and someone to take care of us. I didn’t really get to know him. I think it was being stupid and desperate.”

Within three weeks of marriage, it was completely shattered on Nov. 16, 2020.

“It was the day of my birthday when everything hit the fan,” she said. “The violence came to a head. He lost it on a psychotic trip and it all just fell apart.”

The police intervened as they had done on previous occasions. The next day De Luna got help from the Domestic Violence Action Center and filed a temporary restraining order against her husband. He went into hiding on the streets and was eventually arrested on five charges of abuse, she said.

He was a “really, really mean” drug addict and would always steal her money, as De Luna was the only one with a job. He would harass and threaten to kill her or her boss at the health care center where she worked, accusing them of having an affair.

“I was so scared and too ashamed to say anything. I didn’t want to lose my job because I just started working there.”

The only thing De Luna felt she could do was leave in the middle of her shifts or not come to work at all, which led to reprimands for her frequent absences, she said. As the sole support of the family, she couldn’t earn enough to pay the bills.

De Luna said she didn’t even tell her mother about the abuse, she felt so ashamed.

“I had to basically suck it up and just keep going,” she explained. Now that the violence is over, “I’m in therapy; I need to talk about it because I held it in for so long.”

De Luna has long known how to persevere through adversity. She had a falling out with her mother years ago and left home. She and her daughter, Nevaeh De Luna, now 7, lived out of her car off and on for three years. They sometimes found places to stay, but moved several times during the first six years of her daughter’s life and ended up living at a Waimanalo shelter for a year.

Now that things are getting back to normal, Nevaeh is no longer fearful and seems to be back to her regular self, but certain things remind her of the trauma of being abused and witnessing her mother being hit and threatened.

“He would punch me and throw me around, throw things at me, swear at me, steal my money,” De Luna said. He’d prevent her and her daughter from sleeping together although “Nevaeh would always say she was scared, she didn’t want to sleep by herself.”

“A lot of women have it worse, right? I’m one of the lucky ones; he didn’t kill me. He didn’t beat me to that point,” she said.

And she didn’t contract any diseases from her husband, a possibility since he was an intravenous drug user, she said. “I count my blessings every day. I could have been sick, too.”

Being safe from harm is the best birthday and Christmas present, rolled into one, she could ever have, De Luna said.

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Here is the latest list of donors to the 2021 Good Neighbor Fund:

>> In loving memory of Charles & Hazue Sakamaki $3,000

>> Motiv8 Foundation $2,500

>> In memory of Leland Cheong $1,100

>> Donna Hashimoto $1,000

>> Elizabeth Bremmer $1,000

>> Steven Lum MD $1,000

>> Melinda Tria Kerkvliet $700

>> C. and W. Wang $500

>> Cynthia Burdge $500

>> Elaine & Jamie Wong $500

>> Family & Friends $500

>> Greg and Patty Fujimoto $500

>> H. Richard Burson & Eleanore A. Burson $500

>> Happy Birthday Jesus! $500

>> In honor of Chun Kerr LLP Attorneys & Staff $500

>> In loving memory of Breene Harimoto $500

>> In loving memory of Nathan Nitahara $500

>> In loving memory of William and Jayne Gibson $500

>> In memory of Matthew & Helen Chung $500

>> In memory of S.S. Miyashiro $500

>> Lanny R. and Mary Ann North $500

>> Loui Mee W. Nakama $500

>> Rudy Tolentino Ohana $500

>> Susan Gabaree and Richard E. Duggan $500

>> Joyce Suzuki $300

>> Pamela Okazaki and Richard Okazaki $300

>> The Katos $300

>> Harry Woolsey $250.47

>> Dennis Kawahara $250

>> In loving memory of William F. Ehrman $250

>> In memory of Takeo and Mitsue Abe $250

>> Janice R.K. Kakazu and Steven T. Kakazu $250

>> Albert Hu and Lorna Hu $200

>> Annette Ichiki $200

>> B.E. and A.H. Kaneshiro $200

>> C.I. Williamson Mulford $200

>> In loving memory of Kay & Ralph Nishimoto $200

>> In loving memory of Laurel Muneoka and Lorene Au $200

>> In memory of Jane and Shokichi Kunishige and Katsunari Wakatsuki from Mark and Eunice Wakatsuki $200

>> Jeffrey & June Watanabe & Family $200

>> Jim Green $200

>> Mel, Dar, Quin, Chad, Ali, Derek $200

>> P.A. and K.A. Kawachi $200

>> Pearl Yamanouchi $200

>> Philip, Annie, Buddy, Patches $200

>> Gloria A. Wong and Wendell K.O. Wong $150

>> In loving memory of Michael Samala $150

>> In loving memory of Paul Amor $150

>> In memory of A. & Y.L. Yee $150

>> In memory of Pali Lee $150

>> Michael Y. Kajiwara and Sonia M. Kajiwara $150

>> Molly Jo Campbell $150

>> Sherie K. Gusukuma and James N. Gusukuma $150

>> Corazon Barsatan $120

>> In memory of Keiichi Tamanaha $120

>> In memory of my best buddy — Brynnie Gal $110

>> Hannalore Aiwohi $102.53

>> Rainer and Lisa Kumbroch $102.53

>> John Tokunaga $102

>> Alberta Mayeshiro $100

>> Amy Monk $100

>> Anne Chung and Leslie Chung $100

>> Clifford Kobashigawa and aye Kobashigawa $100

>> Clifford T. Fujii and Mae S. Fujii $100

>> Daniel & Ethel Takamatsu $100

>> Darlette Wong $100

>> Dawn Young and Vernon Young $100

>> Diane Edwards $100

>> Evelyn M. Swindell and Clyde N. Swindell $100

>> George De Conte II $100

>> George K.H. Lau & Associates $100

>> Gloria P. Huber $100

>> Gwendolyn Mau $100

>> Hina, Kai & Natto Kikuta $100

>> In loving memory Gavin L. Shibata $100

>> In loving memory of Darin Lance Keean $100

>> In memory of Dorothy Miyamoto $100

>> In memory of Greg Yokomizo $100

>> In memory of Jane and Shokichi Kunishige and Katsunari Wakatsuki from Akiko and Mark Wakatsuki $100

>> In memory of Janet Tsutomi $100

>> In memory of Kellie Andrade $100

>> In memory of Kenji & Sumiko Tsutomi $100

>> In memory of Richard & Karen Tsutomi $100

>> In memory of Tony Andrade $100

>> In memory of Herbert H. Hee $100

>> In memory of Frances C. Hee $100

>> In memory of Reynold Y.S. Leong $100

>> In memory of Lillian T. Chun $100

>> In memory of Wallace Y.H. Soong $100

>> Jacquelyn N. Sato $100

>> James Alderman $100

>> James Nakasone $100

>> James Thompson & Lorraine Sakaguchi $100

>> Jarrett, Kanani, Logan and Tate Makaimoku $100

>> Judith Cordel Nakashima $100

>> Kathleen Fung and Jay K. Fung $100

>> Kevin, Faith, Josh, Triztan & Maribeth $100

>> Lorraine Lunow-Luke $100

>> Mari M. Fukuya and Rodney Y. Fukuya $100

>> Marissa E. Choy and Andrew L. Choy $100

>> Marshall E. Brown III and Christian M. Brown $100

>> Merry Christmas Haksoon, James Mercado, Rene Catalan, Angelita Catalan and all our furry babies. We love and miss you all. Jeanne, Richard, Noelle, Justin, Devon, Noah, Aria, and our furry babies. $100

>> Mike Shimabukuro $100

>> Milton & Madelline Oshiro $100

>> Patricia Siquig $100

>> Paula Monden $100

>> Robert Nehmad $100

>> Sal Pagliaro $100

>> Sandra Morioka $100

>> Suzanne Peterson $100

>> The Office Manager $100

>> TR Enterprise Inc $100

>> Valerie Luning-Akau $100

>> Women’s Community Correctional Center $100

>> Lance Watari and Lilis Malamah $75

>> Reginald Park $60

>> Violet Hanada $51.52

>> Adelina V. Ambrosio $50

>> B.J. Taum and R.M. Taum $50

>> Debra Sakai $50

>> In loving memory of Bud & Lani Leach $50

>> In memory of Dorothy & Kwok Sun Ng $50

>> In memory of Grandpa $50

>> In memory of Lavinia $50

>> In memory of Mr. and Mrs. Richard & Helen Yamaguchi $50

>> Joyce S. Okamura and Stanley Y. Okamura $50

>> Karen K. Oya and Stanley K. Oya $50

>> Lynn K. Goya $50

>> Lynn Shikatani Curtis and Christopher Curtis $50

>> Mele Kalikimaka from Nancie Caraway and Neil Abercrombie $50

>> Patsy A. Uehara $50

>> Rebecca Ambrosio $50

>> Reid Iwamoto $50

>> Sadie $50

>> Susan D. Koito and Stephen S. Koito $50

>> Timothy E. Newell $50

>> Toni Fujinaga $50

>> Kyden, Kezton, Keegan, Kepa, Kody $40

>> H2149 $30

>> In loving memory of Tyler Hilinski #3 $30

>> Alan H. Kawamoto $25

>> Angela & Noelle Yoza $25

>> Nora Kualii $25

>> Paul L. Oshiro Merry Christmas! $25

>> Steve A. Alumbaugh and Daria G. Alumbaugh $25

>> Uluwehi Meade-Viernes $25

>> Winona Kekuma and Robin Lee Villeza $25

>> Alfred Ceridon $20

>> Alisa, Steve, Evan, Audrey, Daniel and Justin Lee $20

>> Frances K. Toguchi $20

>> In loving memory of Abraham P. and Violet K. Thomas $20

>> In memory of Ginzuchi, Tsuruno, Atsushi and Masami Seo $20

>> In memory of Jitsuo and Akiko Kotake $20

>> Johnston Peter Ai $20

>> Joy K. Ikeda $20

>> LNH $20

>> OK Cha Choe $20

>> Un Sun Oshiro $20

>> Allison Mayeda $10

>> Charles Rediske $10

>> Connie Geisler $10

>> Malia Keano $10

>> Merry Christ Day $10

>> Oscar Quilausing $10

>> Rubin B. Copper $10

>> Wayne D. Josue $10

>> Keri Yamamoto $5

>> Lynda & Anne Aina $5

>> Kaunoa Wilson $1.15

>> Anonymous $3,626.30

>> Weekly Total $36,006.50

>> Last Week’s Total $58,869.20

>> Grand Total $94,875.70

The annual Good Neighbor Fund, a charitable partnership between Helping Hands Hawaii, the Honolulu Star-Advertiser and First Hawaiian Bank, helps struggling individuals and families during the holiday season. This year under the Adopt A Family Program, more than 500 families are seeking assistance with food, clothing, toys and household items. Donations to the Good Neighbor Fund also assist Helping Hands with operational costs for the nonprofit’s Community Clearinghouse Program, which helps people with basic necessities throughout the year.

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Individuals may drop off cash or checks to the “Good Neighbor Fund” at any First Hawaiian Bank branch statewide until Dec. 31. To specifically help Paddy De Luna and her daughter, write the code “DVAC-022” on donation checks.