Lost in a whirlpool of despondency, Davone Bess remembered dropping to his patellas and pleading to find the path from the darkness.

“Lots of praying,” said Bess, a former University of Hawaii football standout and NFL receiver.

It was in 2014, maybe 2015 or 2016, and Bess could not escape severe depression. Until then, his life had been a profile in courage, from the hardscrabble Oakland neighborhood and juvenile incarceration to his three years playing football in paradise to an NFL career in which he exceeded expectations of scouts and fantasy-football owners. And then the storybook changed narrative, with his career — his happiness — devolving following uncharacteristic behavior, including two arrests, that were puzzling, even to himself.

“I was overweight and super depressed,” said Bess, who had financial security and an adoring family, but felt “I had no purpose. I was sitting on the couch watching my old teammates go to the playoffs, watching some of the new guys catching a hundred balls from the same quarterback I was catching balls from, and those are supposed to be my balls. All of that took its toll on me.”

But through therapy, Bess learned his paralyzing depression had less to do with post-football idleness and more to do with the trauma he experienced when he was 10, and what he perceived as subsequent betrayals as an adult. Bess said he finally was diagnosed as suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, a condition he is working through with weekly therapy sessions.

Now Bess is embracing the light of each day. Today, Bess; his wife, Rachel; and their three children are returning to their home in Arizona after vacationing in Hawaii the past couple of weeks. The Bess Route Foundation, started in 2010, has expanded its role to offering more services, including Bess’ testimony on mental health. “I definitely feel with my journey — the ups and downs, and ebbs and flows of life — everything I’ve been through can help somebody else,” said Bess, who plans to write a book on his experiences.

With support from his circle — Rachel, their children, his brother and mother — as well as his work with his foundation and coaching clinics, Bess is at peace. “I found myself,” Bess said.

It was a journey to mental health that began when he was 10. “I watched my uncle get murdered right in front of me,” Bess said. “I was watching blood come out of his mouth. I remember it like it was yesterday.”

In an area of violence, Bess said, “nobody recommended therapy. Nobody came and asked me about seeing that. I was literally 10 yards away from where it happened. … It came and went. I kind of kept going.”

There was no time to grieve, to process. Not when he developed into a star receiver at Skyline High. Not when Bess, who was set to play for Oregon State, was arrested after friends stored stolen goods in his car. Not during 15 months in a youth detention center; nor during a UH career in which he was a Freshman All-American in 2005 and a key player in an undefeated 2007 season; nor during his first season with the Miami Dolphins, when he caught 54 passes (second most by an undrafted rookie).

In 2010, after catching 79 passes, Bess signed a contract extension. But a year later, Bess experienced what he termed his “first mental breakdown.” His brother was shot in Oakland. There were disagreements with assistants on the vision of his foundation. He was bombarded with requests for handouts from friends and relatives. Some wanted cash. Some wanted trips. Some wanted Bess to invest in their business ventures and music dreams. And he was recovering from a knee injury.

“All those things hit me at one time,” Bess said. “I had people pulling me left or right. I got to a point where I didn’t trust anybody. I wanted to be by myself.”

Bess was prescribed anti-depressants, including Mirtazapine.

And then in 2013, Bess was traded to Cleveland, a move that left him devastated and abandoned. “I was like, ‘Damn, y’all don’t want to help fix what’s going on with me?’” Bess recalled thinking.

In 2014, Bess was arrested in a Fort Lauderdale airport after he reportedly was combative when approached by a police officer. Bess said he was listening to music, and perhaps singing, when the officer asked him to “stop doing what you’re doing.” No charges were filed. Soon after, the Browns cut Bess.

In 2016, Bess fled a traffic stop in his Arizona neighborhood. Later, police officers spotted his car. Bess ran from the car to his house, where he barricaded himself. He was arrested on three accusations, including felony flight. Bess, who is African American, said he drove off because he was fearful of being stopped in an affluent neighborhood.

After that, Bess was diagnosed with bipolar disease. “At this point, I had been in several mental institutions,” Bess said. “I remember feeling, ‘I don’t belong here.’”

As it turned out, Bess said, “they misdiagnosed me.” Through counseling and therapy sessions, it was determined Bess actually was suffering from PTSD, most likely stemming from witnessing his uncle Clark Robinson’s murder. “That was just like a burden lifted off my shoulders,” Bess said. “It just took me back to my childhood.”

In therapy sessions, Bess said he is “unpacking” the traumas he endured growing up, things he never had the opportunity to share. His condition also explained how when his popularity grew, his mental health deteriorated. He said healing from mental-health issues begins with seeking help.

“My community definitely strengthened me and gave me confidence,” Bess said. “At the same time, it kind of failed me. It made that negative stigma about talking to somebody as a sign of weakness, when in actuality, talking about your problems is a sign of strength. When you’re a football player, you’re looked at a certain way. You’ve got to carry yourself around that certain way even if (stuff) is bothering you. Like even in my community, the biggest dope dealers, the biggest figures in the community, they have weaknesses, too. They’re hurting inside, too. But they’re showing this persona like they’re strong. I had to figure that out on my own. No. 1 in the healing process is just identifying something is wrong and you need help. And there’s nothing wrong with that.”