In 1986, American author and minister Robert Fulghum published “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.”
“Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate-school mountain, but there in the sandpile at Sunday School,” he argued.
His simple advice adheres to the credo promised by the title, and the book is full of instruction on how to live with grace and gratitude in your community. Share, take a nap, hold hands and stick together, he says, are some of the important lessons we learn at age 6 that we can carry with us throughout our lives.
It’s a good year to revisit lessons we learned in school, as COVID has forced many to redefine education and redraw learning boundaries. The global pandemic has turned parents into surrogate teachers and teachers into technocrats. Students have also had to adjust by becoming more self-motivated and self-directed, and altering their understandings of community.
Therefore, I’d like to rephrase Fulghum’s wisdom from my perspective — “All I Really Need to Know I Learned From Teaching High School During a Pandemic”:
>> “My friends are essential, and when I can’t be with them, my life feels purposeless.” This year has taught not only our keiki but us as well that humans are social creatures. Some cope better than others with feelings of isolation and disconnection, but we all not only crave but require community. When physical walls separate us, let’s not create virtual ones as well.
>> “I don’t have everything figured out, and that uncertainty fills me with anxiety and dread.” We reassure kids that they don’t have to have all the answers by age 18, that they’re allowed to change their minds as they grow. Why don’t we remind adults that, too?
>> “I’m afraid to ask questions.” So many of my students stew in confusion for fear of looking or sounding stupid. That fear is so crippling that some opt-out entirely and give up. I tell my students that the smartest person in the room is usually listening and asking questions. We teach kids that no one is perfect. Adults should be reminded that ego hamstrings learning.
>> “My bad. I promise I won’t do it again.” When students make mistakes, we teach them to own them, apologize and do better. In high school and life, the mistakes aren’t only academic. Recently, I reminded a student on campus to socially distance, and her frustration erupted in anger and frustration. Four hours later, however, I received an apology email. Adults don’t respond to every situation with calm logic — and they don’t always admit mistakes, apologize and grow. Learn from our teenagers. Ego also hamstrings growth.
>> “That’s not fair!” We stress equity and fairness to students all of the time, but they often catch us not practicing what we preach. If we ask students to behave a certain way, we should hold ourselves to the same standards that we expect from our youth — to act responsibly, live with integrity, and be respectful.
>> “I’m afraid to speak up because I feel like everyone is judging me.” Teenagers often struggle with self-advocacy, yet they are also just starting to redefine their boundaries. These opposing truths wage constant war inside of them. The battle is exhilarating and terrifying, especially when they discover that their values do not align with family, friends or society. However, we teach teenagers to practice civil discourse when they argue. Adults could learn something by watching the way students disagree.
Teenagers accept that they do not yet know everything. They view life as a journey. They are hopeful that change is not just possible but essential.
Learning is the work of teenagers, and teaching at a public high school this year reminds me that the work of learning doesn’t end on graduation day.
Brooke Nasser is an English and news-writing teacher at Kalani High School; she also is a freelance filmmaker and journalist.
