It’s the last Sunday in February and time to “flASHback” on the month’s news that amused and confused:
– Hawaii health officials assured us that the coronavirus is not circulating here, even though nobody has been tested because federal test kits sent us were defective. With facts like this, who needs a Ouija board?
– A Morning Consult poll found Hawaii Gov. David Ige tied with Connecticut Gov. Ned Lamont as least popular in the nation, with only 32% approval. The 32% appreciate Ige inserting the words “I do believe” into every other sentence so they know he’s sincere.
– Bills in the Legislature would authorize the sale of marijuana edibles, reduce penalties for possessing dangerous drugs and legalize magic mushrooms. And they say Hawaii politicians aren’t high-minded.
– A House bill would impose fines on those who publicly urinate and defecate in commercial districts after complaints from businesses such as banks. They should be more specific when they advertise for deposits.
– The Honolulu Authority for Rapid Transportation released a 30-point list of “lessons learned” from Oahu rail’s decade of blunders. The main lesson learned is that if they blow the budget to hell, the Legislature will bail them out.
– John Henry Felix resigned from the HART board and offered a parting suggestion that the troubled $9.2 billion rail project needs a time out. In the old days, it would have gotten a plain old spanking.
– Hawaii U.S. Rep. Tulsi Gabbard continues her run for president despite winning zero percent of the vote in Iowa and 3 percent in New Hampshire. Only in presidential politics can a distant also-ran collect a $174,000 congressional salary to travel the country on other people’s money auditioning for a job on Fox News.
– Mayor Kirk Caldwell said he’ll plant 100,000 trees on Oahu to fight climate change, this after his predecessor Mufi Hannemann cut down trees planted by previous Mayor Jeremy Harris. It’s the “Hokey Pokey” method of climate management.
– Former state Sen. Will Espero, who fancies himself a poet, entered the City Council District 9 race against comedian Augie Tulba. A coin toss will determine whether debates are scored by iambic pentameter or laughs per minute.
– City rate commissioner James Burke defended a proposed annual bus fare increase for senior citizens, saying, “Going from $35 to $60 is not that big of a step — it’s a, you know, teenage step.” We seniors would pay a lot more than $60 to take a teenage step again.
And the quote of the month … from newly announced mayoral candidate Rick Blangiardi: “I’m not a politician, I’m just a person who loves our island home and wants the chance to use my leadership and management experience to serve our community and make life better for all of us.” Spoken just like a politician.
Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com.
