People have a hard time believing me when I say that I didn’t always look at life the way I do now. I literally used to blame, complain and sulk constantly because I perceived that life was not only hard, it was unfair. As I grew older, though, I realized I was responsible for my own happiness, and it is this awareness that led me toward my current path.

I think the key to being happy inside and out is to accept life as it is and not wish for life to be something it’s not. Once I embraced the concept that the purpose of life is not to make me happy, but to help me grow and evolve into my highest potential, my perspective shift allowed me to move forward.

There is a huge collective myth about positivity, a belief that if we just keep thinking positively, one day all the negative will go away and we will find peace, happiness and balance. That is a fantasy that will never happen. This type of thinking will keep you stuck in negativity. Anytime you expect life to be something it’s not, you will end up with feelings of aggression, blame, criticism and despair.

Daily mission

When something challenges you, consciously look for the benefit. When things are going extremely well, practice healthy skepticism. Remember, you are never a victim of your circumstances. No matter what is happening in your life, you determine how long it takes to come to a point of balance by how quickly you can see the upside of the downside.

Alice Inoue is the founder of Happiness U. Visit yourhappinessu.com.