It’s the last Sunday in July and time to flASHback on the month’s news that amused and confused:
>> Gov. David Ige vowed to clear Mauna Kea for telescope construction, then dumped the problem on Big Island Mayor Harry Kim after being outmaneuvered by demonstrators at every turn. That’s what happens when he shows up to a battle of wits unarmed.
>> Kim said his first thought when the governor asked him to step in was, “Oh s**t.” Finally we can all talk about this in a common language.
>> Lt. Gov. Josh Green ascended Mauna Kea in his hospital scrubs to grandstand with protesters at Ige’s expense. Does it feel any better to get stabbed in the back by an emergency room doc who can stitch you right up?
>> Also trekking up the mountain to support the protests was actor Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. He stood out as the only rock up there that wasn’t sacred.
>> Ige is advertising for a motivated and forward-thinking leader to serve as his chief energy officer. Perhaps one of the Hawaiians who organized a well-functioning city on Mauna Kea in only a week could bring some energy to his administration.
>> The city rail agency approved nearly $40 million in new change orders, with assurances the overruns will be paid from a contingency fund. A less technical term for contingency fund is “your pocket.”
>> Councilman Tommy Waters is puzzled why city administrators are “so hot and heavy” about a controversial developers’ playground at Ala Moana Beach Park “when everybody I’ve talked to doesn’t like it.” Obviously he hasn’t talked to the mayor’s campaign donors.
>> Mayor Kirk Caldwell deemed his new bulky item pickup plan a success even after it left mounds of stinking trash uncollected around the city. At last he has a fitting monument to his tenure.
>> The City Council’s plan to move into new offices at the posh Alii Place tower downtown ran into a snag. The building already has enough problems with pest control.
>> Now that former Police Chief Louis Kealoha has been convicted on multiple counts of corruption, the city wants back the secret $250,000 retirement payout it gave him. He’ll pay with a check from Alison Lee Wong.
>> U.S. Rep. Tulsi Gabbard, who has campaigned for president on scares of war with Iran and nuclear annihilation, skipped House votes to limit the president’s power to attack Iran and build battlefield nuclear weapons. See the evil, say the evil, do nada.
And the quote of the month … from “The Rock” on touring Mauna Kea: “I wanted to come here and see our people and stand with them and support them.” The showbiz translation: “If I show face, maybe they’ll cut me slack on making my Kamehameha movie even though I’m not Hawaiian.”
Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com.
