It’s the last Sunday in March and time to “flASHback” on the month’s news that amused and confused:
>> Prosecutor Keith Kaneshiro
became the third top city attorney to go on paid leave after being named a target of a federal corruption probe. We’re in trouble when the only legal option the city has left is “Better Call Saul.”
>> Oahu bus ridership is down
millions of trips a year, raising doubts about the city’s lofty promises for rail. Train ridership was doomed when budget cuts knocked out the loop-de-loops between Waipahu and Pearl City.
>> A forensic audit ordered by
the City Council and a new query
by a federal inspector general joined the growing list of rail investigations. All that remains is getting our heads examined for buying this con in the first place.
>> In the special election for City Council District 4, Trevor Ozawa called Tommy Waters “a lap dog”
for Mayor Kirk Caldwell, and Waters questioned his opponent’s maturity as Ozawa was caught lying in two campaign mailers. Can’t we just keep Mike Formby?
>> Hundreds of Ala Moana Park users objected to
Caldwell’s plan for a developer-proposed “world-class playground” with zip lines and splash pools, but a city
designer told them, “Opinions don’t necessarily get
consideration.” Not unless they’re stapled to campaign donations.
>> The state Senate approved a bill that would make Hawaii the second “sanctuary state” for undocumented immigrants. We’re more in need of sanctuary from the Legislature.
>> Lawmakers debated whether oceanfront homeowners should have to tell
buyers that their property could eventually be underwater. Only if the same warning
is applied to state finances.
>> Senate President Ron Kouchi and House Speaker Scott Saiki applauded
when the state Salary Commission, mostly appointed by them, gave legislators
18.5 percent pay raises. It’s necessary to
attract more qualified layabouts.
>> State judges, noting the generous treatment of legislators and administrators, were unhappy
to receive annual raises of barely 1 percent. They’ll have to equip the bench with tip jars.
>> After a Maui man told police he stole a vehicle to buy his favorite soft drink, Circuit Judge Rhonda Loo strongly suggested he refrain from drinking Pepsi. Don’t get her started on snorting coke.
>> Circuit Judge Edward Kubo declared a mistrial in an assault case and jailed a prospective juror who repeatedly exclaimed, “He is guilty! He is guilty!” That’s criminal justice reform for you:
Leave the criminals on the street and put the jury in jail.
And the quote of the month … from Donald Trump about Hawaii U.S. Sen. Mazie Hirono: “She’s like, she’s
like a crazy person. What she said about men is so bad.” This from a guy who’s called women “ugly,” “fat,” “dog,” “pig” and “horseface” and boasted of grabbing them
uninvited “by the p****.”
Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com.