Dinner is my favorite.
After a long, busy weekday of school and work, it’s the one meal my husband, our three young daughters and I have together. Dinner is when we reunite. We exhale. We unwind.
We eat. But yummy food is just a bonus, whether it’s homemade coconut curry shrimp, store-bought rotisserie chicken, a pizza delivery or takeout from our favorite Chinese restaurant.
What matters to me is we talk — often excitedly over one another — sharing accomplishments and praise, venting frustrations, handling sibling feuds, offering advice and solving problems together.
I always ask questions to get a meaningful conversation going: “What was the highlight of your day?” “What was something that made you angry or sad today?” “Did you do something kind for someone?”
What’s best is when we laugh, usually over funny stories by our 11- and 9-year-olds or silly preschool jokes from our 5-year-old, who savors the spotlight at the head of the table. All the while I quietly wish they never change.
It’s no secret that sit-down dinners are a significant time for parents and children. A quick online search resulted in a multitude of studies, research and organizations that promote the benefits of family dinners.
The Family Dinner Project, for example, is a Harvard University-based nonprofit organization that teaches families the value of meaningful mealtime interaction. On its website, the organization encourages sharing a fun family meal because it “is good for the spirit, brain and health of all family members.”
Some of the specific benefits the project emphasizes: better academic performance, higher self-esteem, greater sense of resilience, lower risk of substance abuse, lower likelihood of developing eating disorders and lower rates of obesity. For such reasons, I value our mealtimes together.
But most of all, I cherish our dinners as a family of five because I know these moments won’t last forever.
At some point, extracurricular activities, social engagements, part-time jobs and college will turn our dinners to a party of four or three, and eventually just two. And I’ll miss the boisterous voices coming from the sweet little faces in front of me at our table.
For now though, all my daughters are still present and I don’t take one second of it for granted.
The other night during our usual dinnertime conversation, I asked everyone, “What was your favorite part of the day?”
“Right now,” replied my oldest daughter.
Mine, too.
“She Speaks” is a weekly column by the women writers of the Honolulu Star-Advertiser. Reach Zenaida Serrano at zserrano@staradvertiser.com.
