Hawaii remains a perennial favorite among couples looking to tie the knot, so it’s no surprise to see the more budget-conscious attempting to re-create paradise without flying across the Pacific.
That’s a mistake, according David Tutera, star of WE TV’s “My Fair Wedding” and “David Tutera’s CELEBrations.”
“If couples are looking to bring the islands to the mainland, they’re looking to do that because they can’t afford to do the destination (wedding),” said the 51-year-old celebrity wedding planner, bridal fashion designer, author and professional speaker. “It’s fantastic to do, but I always try to tell clients it’s never the real thing.
‘THE LINEUP’With David Tutera, part of Wedding Week Hawaii 2018
>> Where: Prince Waikiki
>> When: 1 to 5 p.m. Tuesday (doors open at 12:30 p.m.); cocktail reception to follow
>> Cost: $75; $125 for workshop and reception
>> Info: weddingweekhawaii.com
>> Note: Additional Wedding Week Hawaii events are scheduled for today at the Modern Honolulu, Monday at Paradise Cove, Wednesday at the Nutridge Estate, Thursday at the International Market Place and Friday at Eat the Street (visit website for a complete schedule)
“Geographically, no matter which angle you turn, you’re surrounded by beauty. When you go to some other parts of (the world), that’s not always 100 percent the case. You have to sometimes really dig deep for venues that provide beauty all the way around, but you have it everywhere you turn (in Hawaii).”
Tutera, who said he charges about $40,000 to plan a couple’s big day, is in Honolulu for Wedding Week Hawaii, with a scheduled appearance Feb. 17 at the Modern Honolulu. He’s also speaking during “The Lineup,” an industry workshop at the Prince Waikiki at 1 p.m. Tuesday.
The Honolulu Star-Advertiser spoke with Tutera by telephone from Los Angeles earlier this month.
QUESTION: What are the biggest wedding trends for 2018?
ANSWER: For color trends, we’re going to see more dove gray. I’m grateful I called violet as the trend color of 2018, but we’re also going to see lilac and lavender and a little bit of purple.
Fashion for brides, the fashion look is going to be cleaner, in the essence that there won’t be as many appliques, beading and sparkles. A lot of girls are opting for a much more modern, simplistic look with their gowns.
And I also believe, as opposed to having an afterparty, which so many guests tend to go to after the main party at the wedding, we should relinquish and stop doing afterparties. Just extend the party in the same space you’re in so guests don’t feel like there’s a better place to go to or another moment to experience.
Q: Is it absolutely necessary to hire a wedding planner? Can couples successfully go it alone on their big day?
A: I always recommend having a planner. Knowing you have someone in your back pocket that’s looking out for your best interests is always important.
Q: Are there any misconceptions about wedding planners you’d like to clear up?
A: Some think wedding planners are only for those who have a large budget. It is an additional cost; however, a really good planner should be navigating and negotiating your contracts and hopefully getting you the best deals, possibly saving you money, or at least educating the consumer on where the budget should be spent and where it shouldn’t be spent.
Q: What’s the biggest difference between planning a celebrity wedding and one for a “normal” couple?
A: Massive difference. … Their (celebrities) expectations are higher, they’re not often ready to spend the money, and they’re not quick in responding to the information we need as planners to work with a timeline. So there’s a lot of last-minute things happening. There’s a lot of changing minds. There’s a lot of other ancillary people, such as managers and agents and publicists, so the layers are much deeper. It’s not just working with a couple who’s getting married who may be indecisive. It’s much different.
Q: Does the groom have a say in the wedding planning process when you’re involved?
A: I wouldn’t say they’re taking over, but grooms are participating more. It’s so fantastic to see them doing it as couples. We’re seeing a real influx of guys truly wanting to be a part of the decision-making. I think it’s great.
Q: What is the best day of the week to get married?
A: I always say a Saturday. It feels to me like it makes it a more important day or evening. It just feels more special on a Saturday. It’s ingrained in us.
Q: Did you do anything unexpected at your own wedding last year (to Joey Toth in Los Angeles)?
A: I did plan my own wedding and I highly do not recommend it. It was the best day of my life. It was also the most stressful week of my life. We did a lot of things that were unexpected, which was expected because people wanted to see what we would do that would be unique.
The one thing I think that stands out the strongest is that our first dance was performed around us. We basically had a 25-piece gospel choir sing our first dance song while we were in the middle of the dance floor. To me, that was incredibly dramatic and really unique.
Q: You had 280 people at your wedding. How big is too big? Is there a magic number?
A: It’s when you cross 300 — and I can say this because 280 was a lot for us. And I’m not talking budget, I’m talking managing your time with people as the couple. … When you’re there that night or that day, you’re being pulled in many different directions and you want to feel like you’re saying hello (to everyone).
Q: What are you hoping to accomplish with your involvement in Wedding Week Hawaii?
A: I guide — I never tell someone what they’re doing wrong. Whether it’s someone who’s planning a wedding or someone who’s in the industry, I’m going to share my experiences, my failures, which is one of the biggest topics I talk about, and how I saw and corrected them and learned from them.
Q: Do you prefer to speak to wedding professionals or actual couples?
A: It’s very different and speaking to both audiences is incredibly rewarding. For couples, it’s rewarding because they seem lost and overwhelmed, so my job is to just calm them down. With an industry person, I want them to grow and know they can do this for 30 years without being burnt out.
A lot of people in my industry go up on stage and talk about how fabulous everything is, how much money people spent. I don’t think that helps anyone.
Q: You’ve also written books about throwing house parties. Any quick tips?
A: It’s kind of the same formula. I’ve written a book about entertaining at home where I talk about how everyone needs to be organized.
Most people who want to entertain at home, I still don’t think they can pull it off yet because they haven’t put a plan together. You feel a sort of trickle-down effect of stress when you walk into someone’s home when they’re not prepared. The music may not have ever been turned on, the cocktails weren’t prepared or just the environment isn’t ready.
You always want to go to someone’s home where you feel the host is having a better time than you are. That allows the guests to have a great time.
Q: Do you see yourself as an activist for the LGBTQ community?
A: I wouldn’t say I’m an activist. I do say I am a voice. I’m very protective and very vocal if I’m in an environment where a topic may come up that may represent any one of us in that community. I make it really clear to people that they have to have an open mind and understand the essence of love. Equality, to me, is very important.
I get myself in more situations to protect people, and I just do it because I think I have to be that voice for someone who doesn’t have the confidence to stand up for themselves.