If I made a list of likely occupations my son would have chosen for a career, sushi chef would have ranked about 129th.
Yet there he is, in his fourth month of on-the-job training in a little family-run restaurant on Maui. He can be found four nights a week behind the sushi counter, while still working his day job as a zip-line guide.
It just goes to show you never know where your children’s talents lie or what might spark their interest. Sure, you can hope they decide to become a doctor or engineer, or enter some other secure profession, and you can provide them with the education necessary to make it happen, but that’s no guarantee it’ll take.
The conundrum for modern parents: You can’t discover what your children are good at or what they’ll enjoy unless you let them sample everything. So you sign them up for classes and camps in sports, art, music, STEM, drama, dance and other activities, giving over your life to finding their groove — and maybe setting them up for a college scholarship in the process.
Hopefully something will stick, but sometimes it doesn’t. And that’s OK. My generation and those before us managed to find our place without the benefit of myriad extracurricular activities and theme camps, so lighten up.
THE BOY was a skilled dabbler in many pursuits but never exhibited the passion and persistence to excel in any one for any length of time. Athletically gifted, he drove his coaches mad with his lack of dedication. When he enrolled in his first and only high school art class, no one was more surprised than me when he brought home watercolor landscapes and still-life drawings worthy of framing. So I started buying him art supplies … that were never opened.
But he’s a good kid and a hard worker who has been steadily employed since he was a county pool guard at 16. He moved out on his own at 21 and has been supporting himself ever since. I don’t know many young people his age, now 24, who have done that.
His big sister, also a very hard worker, supplements her income by helping out at the Maui restaurant, which is owned by one of her high school classmates. (So, yes, connections matter!) We worried The Boy would lose interest after a few weeks in the kitchen grinder, but turns out he likes the creative aspects of sushi making and the instant gratification of watching someone savor food made with his own hands.
Most young people don’t know what they want to do. Many are well into their 30s before something clicks or they get an opportunity that turns into a career. Some find it much later, or never.
Four months ago The Boy didn’t know he wanted to be a sushi chef. Yet there he is.
“She Speaks” is a weekly column by women writers of the Honolulu Star-Advertiser. Reach Christie Wilson at cwilson@staradvertiser.com.
