When I was little I got lost at Bishop Museum. Even though it wasn’t for long, it was enough to leave me disoriented and panicked. I knew I never wanted to go through it again.
Wedding planning feels the same way.
My idea of successful planning ahead is figuring out what I’m going to eat for dinner this week. Multiply that task by 175 guests and add in fancy clothing, fancy decor, fancy dancing and fancy little boxes of chocolate, and the odds of success drop precipitously.
OK, I’m exaggerating a bit. My fiance and I are not fancy people; we like to keep things simple. And it’s not like we are approaching our nuptials blindly — we are asking family and friends about their experiences, and they are helping us along the way.
All that said, it still feels incredibly daunting. I know now why wedding coordination is such a big business.
It doesn’t help that unlike a lot of women, I never put much thought into what my wedding would look like. I knew I wanted to get married someday, but that was where my thinking ended. Maybe I figured that once I found a good man, everything else would fall into place, and I would magically know what to do.
So much for that fantasy.
Like many other engaged couples, we headed to the recent Hawaii Bridal Expo at the Blaisdell Exhibition Hall to get a sense of what we might want to consider in our planning. We were not prepared for the information overload.
In addition to the typical offerings for flowers, food and photos, we found businesses advertising drone videography, a photo booth in a bus, fireknife dancers, mail-order tuxedos, kimono rentals and custom candy stations. We left with lots of fliers and even more things to think about.
I am hoping that my love of organization will help once we cement some of the basic wedding details. I’m also grateful for a fiance who doesn’t sit idly by — he has his own ideas of how he wants things to go, and we are working together to make sure our wedding goes well.
In other words, no bridezilla here. The one order I gave my fiance was to rein me in if I showed even the smallest sign of bossiness or my-way-or-the-highway attitude.
Amid all the stress and anxiety, I keep returning to something my dad and other folks keep emphasizing: “It’s only one day.” And it’s true. No matter what we end up doing, ultimately the wedding is just the first step on a long journey together. While I wish the road to the journey wasn’t so nerve-wracking, I know many happy couples who prove it’s worth the trip, balancing tradition, innovation and personal preferences.
We’re not so keen on the 1-year-old cake-eating tradition, though. I’m pitching a tower of cookies instead.
“She Speaks” is a weekly column by the women writers of the Honolulu Star-Advertiser. Reach Zinaida Serrano at zserrano@staradvertiser.com.
