I cradled her in my arms and cried in a fatigued stupor.

It was during one of those early morning feedings in our rocking chair, in that kind of dark and quiet setting that swallows you. My firstborn baby stared into my eyes, my soul, and overwhelmed every part of me, evoking all at once doubt, elation, fear and love.

I was a first-time mommy, unsure of myself and my capability to raise this fragile, beautiful being. As tears filled my eyes, questions flooded my mind: Will she be healthy? Will she be happy? Can I do this?

A decade later she is a healthy, happy girl. Apparently, yes, I can do this — and even more than I thought I could, as I have three healthy daughters, ages 10, 8 and 4.

My daughter’s milestone, double-digit birthday just a few days ago is also a milestone for me: It’s my 10th “mommiversary.” It inspired me to reflect on this past decade and how I’ve learned as much from my daughter as she has from me.

I’ve learned the challenges that come with raising a child are never-ending. Anxiety over a diaper rash that won’t go away turns into anxiety over potty training turns into anxiety over whether she’ll make friends at school. But I find comfort in knowing that just as we overcame past hurdles, we’ll get through those to come.

I’ve learned during hardships, when I felt alone, I wasn’t. I have an incredible husband, supportive family and friends, and my daughters’ awesome pediatrician — all of whom I can turn to whenever I need help. In the early years of motherhood, I tried to take on everything myself and quickly realized that wasn’t a good idea.

I’ve learned I’ll never be a perfect parent. And you know what? Whatever. I don’t need that added pressure when there’s homework to check every afternoon and dinner to prepare every night. Yes, sometimes I do things I wish I didn’t, like yell at my girls when I’m under a lot of stress. But I do try my best every day. I make mistakes. I grow from them.

I’ve learned I’m stronger than I thought I could ever be, from giving birth without an epidural (twice) to caring for my family even when I’m ill and should be resting in bed. Motherhood requires all kinds of crazy strength, which has also given me a confidence and courage I never knew before having children. If I can grow a human inside of me — then push it out of me — I can damn well do anything.

And I’ve learned I still have a lot to learn.

As you read this, we will most likely be at a Harry Potter-themed birthday party for my tween at her grandparents’ house. There will be goody bags, cheese pizzas, cake with ice cream and lots of presents. While we celebrate how much she’s grown, I’ll also be celebrating how far I’ve come as a mother from that desperate day a decade ago in our rocking chair.

I’m looking forward to what the next 10 years have in store for us.

“She Speaks” is a weekly column by the women writers of the Honolulu Star-Advertiser. Reach Zinaida Serrano at zserrano@staradvertiser.com.