Foster parenting is no small commitment, but it can also be immensely rewarding.
Although I worked with children for years while providing daycare services, my husband (then in the U.S. Navy) and I resisted involvement with the foster care system, despite encouragement from friends.
My questions were many: Was I properly trained? Would I become too attached? Would I be able to provide the specialized support that many of these youth would need?
Ultimately, we decided to serve as an emergency shelter for the state of Hawaii, and then as foster parents. It is a relationship that has lasted for a decade and encouraged me to seek out additional training in behavioral sciences.
We have worked with nearly 300 youth ranging in age from just a few months old to young adults. Many times it works; sometimes it does not.
Often, these youth are trying to overcome extremely difficult situations that are no fault of their own. I have seen them successfully reunite with their families, finish high school, and go on to college, full-time careers or military service. Some visit periodically to simply say thank you, sharing their continued achievements as young adults.
In 2014, the most recent year data is available from the state Department of Human Services, Hawaii reported 2,231 youths in foster care. It marks the first annual increase since a peak of 5,353 youths in the system a decade prior. In 2013 and 2014, there were more youth entering foster care than leaving it. All this marks a troubling reversal from years of tremendous progress.
In speaking with the organizations that run Hawaii’s vital programs for at-risk youth — such as Hale Kipa, the nonprofit organization my husband and I have worked with as foster parents — one will hear that demand for foster parents is great, while the available homes are few. We must work to change this.
The goal is to provide the youth with basic care and structure as the family teaches living skills and healthy relationships. The foster-placing agency works with each prospective foster parent not only in an initial training course, but also through continued contact with a dedicated and trained staff member. This helps ensure that the youth is being best served in a traditional home setting, and that the family is able to meet the youth’s needs in a difficult and sensitive time.
My husband and I have three grown children and one 9-year-old child. They were raised with these at-risk and foster youth. The better we can care for both our own children and those in the greatest need, the better we can help future generations create meaningful, productive relationships and communities.
Not everyone is able to become a foster parent. But for those who can, it is one of the best ways to ensure the collective success of our youth. By serving as a foster parent to just one child, we can greatly change the lives of many. As this year unfolds, I encourage all who are able to consider the many ways to help support Hawaii’s most at-risk youth.