You’ve survived traffic on the H-1 and now you’re in town, navigating red lights and left turns to get to a doctor appointment or lunch date or meeting at the bank. The light is green, the way is clear and you step on the gas when all of a sudden, a blur of a person with skinny jeans, an all-consuming cellphone conversation and a death wish stumbles into the crosswalk and you have to skid to a terrified stop.

The lady in the Lexus behind you isn’t fast enough and your back bumper takes a solid hit. The man in the Subaru behind her hasn’t had his brakes checked in a while and he hits the Lexus, which hits you again and pushes you into the oncoming lane of traffic, where you get crunched by a BMW.

Sucky morning.

But then!

A police officer appears out of nowhere like Deputy Dog or Super Chicken and goes straight to the cellphone-using pedestrian who started the whole mess. $250 fine. Boom. You watch the citation being written up while you wait for the tow truck and you feel pretty stinkin’ vindicated.

That’s the fantasy. The reality is, law or no law, people are gonna do what they’re gonna do.

The House Transportation Committee this week took up a bill that would prohibit using cellphones while walking across the street. It was deferred, but the idea got people talking.

Well, of course people shouldn’t have their eyes glued to their cellphones while dashing across a busy street.

People shouldn’t be carrying on colorful conversations about their exes while in a stall in a public restroom.

People shouldn’t be texting while pushing a double-wide baby stroller down the sidewalk on Kalakaua.

People shouldn’t be posting photos of themselves in thin, slippy hospital gowns while they’re being stitched up in the ER or about to be sent down the chute of an MRI scanner.

But they do. And what can be done about it?

You can’t legislate good sense or classy behavior.

The list can keep going:

>> Dudes riding mopeds in the bike lane on Kalanianaole shouldn’t be typing into Google Maps on their phones to figure out where they’re going.

>> Audience members shouldn’t be checking email on their phones in the dark during theatrical productions. (The actors on stage can totally see you, you know, and they talk stink about you in the dressing room.)

>> Drivers shouldn’t take out their cellphones to snap a picture of other drivers or pedestrians using cellphones on the road, even if it is to prove a point.

But we probably don’t need a law that won’t work. Shouldn’t police be out catching thieves and murderers anyway? And besides, in no time, today’s most advanced phones will be obsolete and we will laugh at the quaint old days when we had to actually hold a phone and avert our eyes to stay connected (or disconnected) as we move through our days.

Reach Lee Cataluna at 529-4315 or lcataluna@staradvertiser.com.