I usually won’t play the apology game, but must acknowledge calls to apologize for last week’s column headline that called our political leaders baboozes.
I agree regrets are in order and hereby apologize to all baboozes for comparing you to politicians.
Seriously, though, the new year is time to bury the hatchet and I’d like to start fresh by offering those I’ve offended inspiring quotations from the great minds to carry into 2016.
>> For President Barack Obama: “It’s not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren’t doing it.” — Terry Pratchett
>> For Gov. David Ige: “There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.” — Steven Wright
>> For Lt. Gov. Shan Tsutsui: “If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.” — Yogi Berra
>> For new Senate President Ron Kouchi: “Any organization is like a septic tank. The really big chunks rise to the top.” — John Imhoff
>> For House Speaker Joe Souki: “Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy? I don’t know and I don’t care.” — William Safire
>> For U.S. Sen. Brian Schatz: “For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple and wrong.” — H.L. Mencken
>> For U.S. Sen. Mazie Hirono: “I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages.” — William H. Mauldin
>> For U.S. Rep. Tulsi Gabbard: “Maturing is realizing how many things don’t require your comment.” — Rachel Wolchin
>> For U.S. Rep. Mark Takai: “The best healer is good cheer.” — Pindar
>> For Mayor Kirk Caldwell: “I am a friend of the working man; I would rather be his friend than be one.” — Clarence Darrow
>> For City Council Chairman Ernie Martin: “At the age of 6 I wanted to be a cook. At 7 I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since.” — Salvador Dali
>> For rail CEO Daniel Grabauskas: “The fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.” — Carl Sagan
>> For Police Chief Louis Kealoha: “I haven’t committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.” — David Dinkins
>> For Big Island Mayor Billy Kenoi: “There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience, or none at all.” — Ogden Nash
>> For tax cheat Albert Hee: “He reminds me of the man who murdered both his parents, and then when the sentence was about to be pronounced, pleaded for mercy on the grounds that he was an orphan.” — Abraham Lincoln
>> For UH football coach Nick Rolovich: “Football is easy if you’re crazy as hell.” — Bo Jackson
Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com or blog.volcanicash.net.
