It was hard to tell sometimes if we were talking about law and order or the birds and the bees as we "flASHback" on the month’s news that amused and confused:

» State senators said they’ll derail a much-ridiculed House bill allowing police officers to have sex with prostitutes in making arrests, and police said it was all a misunderstanding. They confused habeas corpus with coitus interruptus.

» The Senate approved Michael Wilson for the Hawaii Supreme Court despite the bar association’s "unqualified" rating based on complaints that Wilson had a poor work ethic, lacked professionalism and acted inappropriately with women. So much for promises that the recent $57,113 judicial pay raise would get us better judges.

» State legislators appear deadlocked again on competing bills to designate an official state microbe. They’ll never agree on whether the honor should go to a House member or senator.

» Gov. Neil Abercrombie’s re-election campaign is seeking volunteers to put up yard signs supporting the governor. If you put up a sign, he won’t put up a condominium blocking your view.

» Former Mayor Mufi Hannemann said he’s thinking of leaving the Democratic Party because "it’s no secret that I’ve not been treated well." He hasn’t decided whether to run for governor as an independent or follow his natural calling as a blues singer.

» U.S. Sen. Brian Schatz organized a rare all-night Senate session for a talk-a-thon on climate change. How age-appropriate for the novice senator to make his coming-out event a slumber party.

» U.S. Rep. Colleen Hanabusa, who’s running against Schatz, said suggestions she’s too old at 62 to be a freshman senator insult women who delay their careers to have children. It’ll have to be a vicarious insult for Hanabusa, who neither had children nor delayed her career.

» Veteran Pat Saiki became chairman of the Hawaii Republican Party and said she’ll avoid taking positions on issues in the fight to unseat Democrats. It’ll be a battle of which party stands for the most nothing.

» Oahu contractors are worried there aren’t enough local workers for dozens of new condo towers going up in Kakaako and Waikiki. That’s economic sustainability Hawaii-style: condos catering to outside speculators, built with imported labor.

» The Hawaii State Teachers Association objected to a survey giving public school students a chance to evaluate their teachers, saying students don’t understand the questions. It must be the teaching they get.

And the quote of the month … from Rep. Faye Hanohano after House Speaker Joe Souki reprimanded her for racist remarks: "It was so funny because even if I used the word ‘Jap,’ you know, which is prevalent in my, you know, local community, everybody understands but they don’t get offended." What she lacks in charm she makes up for with ineloquence.

Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com or blog.volcanicash.net Opens in a new tab.