In middle school I remember feeling so "grown up" when my parents first allowed me to go to the mall alone with my friends.
In high school, getting my license and a car was one of the most liberating moments of my life.
Each of these moments felt like a step towards greater independence. But they weren’t. Growing up immersed in the close-knit culture of Hawaii merely gave me with the illusion of independence. Going to college in New York City hit me hard with a reality check.
For many teenagers, college is a time of independence and self-realization — their first true step into adulthood. For students used to living in the city, learning how to deal with greater freedom can be the sole extent of their transition to college. For others, that transition becomes vastly more difficult when they are in a college far from home.
In the process of adjusting to a life of sudden independence, when home is 4,900 miles away, you learn to deal with situations on your own.
As a student from Hawaii, going to Columbia University made me realize that distance is not the only thing that made my transition to college life in New York comparatively difficult.
Growing up in Hawaii is unlike growing up in any other place on the mainland. There is a sense of shared "aloha" among the entire community that may not exist in the typical suburban neighborhood of the mainland. This unique culture of "ohana" creates a close-knit community where it is normal to greet someone you barely know as "aunty" or "uncle," accompanied with a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. Every time I thought I was taking another step toward independence, in the back of my mind I always knew there would be people around me who would be willing to help if I faced any challenges.
Compare this culture to the fast-paced lifestyle of New York City and the disparity immediately becomes evident. Accustomed to a culture of ohana, I find myself wildly out of my element among the rush of indifferent strangers single-mindedly heading to their destinations.
Whereas in Hawaii I could find a friend or family member in every person I passed, here I make no eye contact with people I don’t know and expect nothing from the strangers I walk by. For the first few weeks of my time at Columbia, I struggled with homesickness, isolation and disconnectedness.
Colleges should strive to adopt programs that ease the transition for students like me who come from places where the cultural disparities are great.
One possible solution is an optional summer school program where incoming freshmen are given the opportunity to take classes on campus with other new students to get accustomed to the college lifestyle.
In my case, being at Columbia over the summer allowed me to find a close group of friends that, when the actual school year began, I could continue to rely on. These programs could help foster a sense of community — a personalized version of ohana that allows students to familiarize themselves with their peers and their new environment.
For some people, studying at college away from home may not seem like a big deal. But for those of us raised in a different culture that emphasizes closeness and interdependence, that difference makes the transition significantly harder.
Colleges should be more cognizant of this issue and strive to provide opportunities for students to acclimate to a completely different social and cultural lifestyle. For students like me, that makes a world of difference.
