Usually we plant tongue in cheek, but this week we’ll have to pinch fingers on nose as we "flASHback" on the week’s news that amused and confused:
» City officials are scrambling to pacify Waikiki residents up in arms about the sickening stench emanatingfrom the Ala Wai since the city began removing a temporary sewage pipe. Urban decay takes on a whole new meaning when it starts to smell.
» Maui environmentalists raised more doodoo worries, saying federal studies confirm that waste water from a county sewage plant is flowing into waters near Kaanapali. Tourism marketers are working to rebrand the resort as an eco-tourism destination.
» Mayor Kirk Caldwell said the city is alreadyfacing a $26 millionbudget deficit less than two months after he let the new budget become law. It seems city spending is rapidly outpacing his demands for new taxes.
» Opponents of the $5.26 billion Oahu rail project made what may be their final plea before a three-judge panel of the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals. The judges didn’t say how they’d rule, but the bailiff may have let it slip when instead of saying "All rise," he said, "All aboard."
» Less than a month after being convicted of reckless endangerment in the breach of his Ka Loko Dam on Kauai that killed seven people, Jimmy Pflueger billed the state $240,000 for dam water, following up his earlier assertion that "you owe me more than I owe you." He won’t get all of what he’s owed until the next life.
» Hawaiian Electric Co.blamed a rat for a power outage that affected more than 2,500 customers near the Pali Safeway and Longs stores in downtown Honolulu. The rat took an unauthorized break from running on his exercise wheel that powered the generator.
» Instead of traditional captains named by college football teams, the University of Hawaii designated a 17-member captains’ council, and coaches will separately choose four captains for each game — not necessarily from the council. As if the Rainbow Warriors weren’t confused enough trying to figure out coach Norm Chow’s offense.
» Congratulations to Bishop Museum entomologist Neal Evenhuis, who discovered a new fly species named after the cartoon sailor Popeye because of its bulging limbs. It was lured out of hiding with an imitation mating call of a slender damselfly known as the Olive Oyl.
And the quote of the week … from Mayor Caldwell on complaints about the foul odors from the Ala Wai: "I would be surprised if it’s anything with sewage. I think it’s just the natural smells that get you have when you have a canal built here." When you’ve been a lawyer and politician for as long as he has, everything starts to naturally smell.
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Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com or blog.volcanicash.net.
