We’ve got intrigue all the way from the football field to the bedroom as we "flASHback" on the week’s news that amused and confused:
» NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell said he might move the Pro Bowl out of Hawaii or cancel it altogether after fans booed the lackluster play in the recent scrimmage. Not to mention Gov. Neil Abercrombie’s boos about paying the NFL $4 million to host the game.
» Abercrombie signaled to legislators that he favors a bill allowing customers to take their dogs into restaurants, notwithstanding the concerns of his Health Department. The governor appreciates dining companions who bark at his jokes.
» A bill moving in the state Senate would let lawmakers hand out scholarships from their campaign funds. If they can’t legislate affordable higher education for all, they’ll buy the votes of a few.
» Heavy winds pounded Oahu, running boats aground, knocking down trees and leaving thousands without power. And to think the 2012 Legislature is just getting warmed up.
» The city got federal approval to start erecting concrete pillars for its elevated rail line, despite an unfinished final design, ongoing legal challenges and no guarantee of federal funding. At this point we don’t know whether our tax dollars are building a commuter train or a Hawaiian Stonehenge.
» City officials indicated there’s no need to delay rail construction until an environmental lawsuit is settled, since they can tear down what they’ve built if they lose in court. I can hear the campaign slogans already about the deconstruction jobs they created.
» Democratic Party heavyweights exchanged insults when U.S. Sen. Daniel Inouye criticized former Gov. Ben Cayetano’s anti-rail campaign for mayor. Politics aside, they do uncanny impressions of Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon in "Grumpy Old Men."
» Mayor Peter Carlisle is steaming about an Ethics Commission ruling that he must pay a $3,300 reimbursement for taking his wife along on a junket to China and Taiwan. He thought there was a family discount on ethics.
» As the University of Hawaii demanded the shutdown of a pornographic website operating as universityofhawaii.xxx, its student newspaper Ka Leo published an explicitly illustrated Valentine’s guide to sexual positions. It makes you wonder whether the threats against the .xxx site are about preserving decency or eliminating competition.
» A sand replenishment project in Waikiki is running late because the machine that spreads sand along the beach isn’t pumping fast enough. The Ka Leo Valentine’s guide has tips on that.
And the quote of the week … from Board of Education member Jim Williams, explaining a BOE plan to require performance evaluations of teachers and principals: "It’s not about the cub becoming the bear. It’s more like the caterpillar becoming the butterfly." No wonder educators feel like they’re in the frying pan becoming the fire.
Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com or blog.volcanicash.net.