I received an email yesterday with a subject line that said, "David, I want to meet you."

I started to delete it, as such come-ons are usually from a "dating" service promising that hot Kailua women are waiting for my call. (Be still, my trembling dialing finger.)

But I noticed the sender of this one was Michelle Obama, and her promise was that for a campaign donation to her husband of a mere $3, I’d be entered in a raffle to win a private dinner with the first couple.

Seriously? Have political campaign standards sunk so low that the leader of the free world has to raise money by having his wife mimic "dating" spam? For $3?

With that to ponder, on to our tongue-in-cheek review of the week’s news that amused and confused:

» The city removed homeless campers from the sidewalk at Old Stadium Park so crews could clean up, then let them move right back in to mess it up again. What a city. The Carlisle administration wants to charge fees to tax-paying sports enthusiasts who use public parks, but squatters get free maid service.

» The city transit authority signed a $1.4 billion contract with Ansaldo Honolulu JV to build and operate 80 cars for Oahu rail, shrugging off concerns about the Italian parent company’s shaky finances. This municipal drama took its orchestration from the musical "Grease."

» City Councilman Tom Berg was combative, irrational and intoxicated when Secret Service agents stopped him from entering an APEC venue, a police report said. Somebody had to make us forget Rod Tam.

» Fellow Councilman Breene Harimoto said he’s scared of Berg’s "argumentative and aggressive behavior" and wants him removed from all Council committees. In pro wrestling this would be a classic "Weenie vs. Meanie" match.

» Hawaii tourism execs are giddy that despite weak growth in visitor arrivals this year, our guests are spending so much that it may set a new annual record. The next step in boosting profitability is persuading them to stay home and just mail us their money.

» Gov. Neil Abercrombie ended the legal fight over judicial secrecy by complying with a court order to release candidate lists for state Supreme Court and Circuit Court judgeships. You could barely read the names through his clenched teeth marks, but mahalo anyway for the bit of sunshine.

» Abercrombie complained that some in the media have pulled out the "long knives" against him. Actually, it takes only a little needle to pierce thin skin.

And the quote of the week … from Councilman Berg on his run-in with the Secret Service: "They were laughing and snickering at me like I was a nut." So much for the stereotype that federal agents never smile.

Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com or blog.volcanicash.net.