Legislative silly season is upon us as we “flASHback” on January’s news that amused and confused:
>> In his State of the State speech, Gov. David Ige told lawmakers Hawaii’s pressing problems are “long overdue” for solutions. And if he ever thinks of any, he’ll let us know.
>> House Speaker Joe Souki said the recent Powerball craze makes a lottery bill a “distinct possibility” in this year’s Legislature. In our Legislature, every bill is a lottery.
>> Rep. Isaac Choy wants to emulate the city and make it illegal to sit and lie on state land. The Legislature would have to meet on federal land.
>> The House Consumer Protection Committee deferred Rep. Marcus Oshiro’s bill to create a state bank. There are only so many customers who need expert advice on mismanaging their finances.
>> Sen. Suzanne Chun Oakland took offense when the “traditional Hawaiian hale” she proposed for the homeless were described as grass shacks. She prefers to think of them as grass luxury condos.
>> Rep. Romy Cachola suggested brightening the Capitol for visitors by installing colored dancing lights in the reflecting pool, a la the Bellagio in Las Vegas. What a perfect backdrop for our legislators in their tinfoil hats.
>> The City Council passed Mayor Kirk Caldwell’s excise tax extension to cover rail cost overruns, after adding a spending cap that really isn’t. Council Chairman Ernie Martin wrote the amendment to display a Council backbone that really isn’t.
>> The city said it could need a 9 percent property tax increase to pay for rail operations, but Councilman Joey Manahan said raising property taxes is “a last, last, last, last, last choice.” The first choice is to pay for rail operations the same way as construction — with broken promises.
>> Caldwell, who caught flak for advocating cocktail service at Ala Moana Beach Park, pushed to exempt a private NFL party from alcohol bans at Queen’s Surf. If the mayor is pandering to the drunk vote, I’m pretty sure he already has it.
>> Big Island Senate candidate Greggor Ilagan courted support on the dating website Tinder, but most respondents — especially guys — were more interested in hitting on him than talking politics. Pity the politician who confuses campaign donors and sperm donors.
>> Hawaii is the third-worst state to retire, says Wallethub.com. We avoided last place because of our generous tent living options.
>> Aloha Stadium increased parking by $2 for University of Hawaii football and other events. Now UH fans who stay home in droves will save even more.
And the quote of the month, from Hawaii Poll respondent Daniel Chong of Kaneohe on whether to finish rail: “What can we do? … If you stop you’re going to be a loser. If you go ahead you’re going to be a loser.” It’s Kirk Caldwell’s way of covering all bases.
Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com or blog.volcanicash.net.
