When Phillis Johnston joined Parents Without Partners in the 1980s, it opened up a whole new world for her and her children.
Johnston, 66, was then a divorced mother of three elementary school-age children focused on survival.
"My kids missed out on a lot of fun stuff because I was working full time to take care of them," she said. "Then all of a sudden there was fun stuff to do every weekend."
There were picnics on the beach, camping at Bellows, excursions to the Ice Palace and other organized outings. Members enjoyed discounts on admission fees, making it more affordable for single parents.
Parents Without Partners is an international, nonprofit and nonsectarian group founded for single parents — whether separated, divorced, widowed or never married — and their children. Its mission is to offer an environment of support and friendship and the exchange of parenting techniques.
The Hawaii chapter has been in existence since the 1950s, according to group members. Though membership peaked at more than 500 in the late ’70s and early ’80s, when Johnston joined, it has since declined to just about 15 today. Membership fees are $40 a year.
Without additional funding or an increase in membership, the local chapter of Parents Without Partners is in danger of disbanding, according to President Jennifer Gruver, a single mother of six. Members are trying to keep the group going at least until the end of the year.
They have held garage sale fundraisers and cut back costs by closing down a dedicated phone line. Organized activities have been whittled down to just once a month instead of every weekend, though members still plan on a traditional trolley ride for families every holiday season.
Five years ago, the Harry and Jeanette Weinberg Foundation provided $5,000 in support, but Parents Without Partners has not received any other grants since then.
"It would be a shame to see it go down," said Johnston, who remains friends with many of the people she met in the group.
"It made my life easier and made me the person that I am today. If I didn’t join, I would have never learned to dance."
Though Johnston’s children are now grown and living on the mainland, she continues to serve as the group’s adult activities coordinator and teaches free line-dancing classes twice a week.
Gruver, whose children range in age from 2 to 17, hopes to get the word out about the existence of the group to recruit more parents with younger children.
The local chapter no longer has a website, and it doesn’t have a social media presence on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter — the key communication platforms for many younger families these days.
"I think people are just busier than they’ve ever been, with the economy," said Gruver. "It’s not as well known as it should be. It’s an awesome group."
There are activities geared toward parents and children together, and some events just for parents, who may need to find a new social circle after becoming single.
The group occasionally the group brings in speakers on such topics as child psychology and relationships, and sometimes members present workshops on real-life skills, like fixing home plumbing.
When Lisa Butter moved to Hawaii in early 2000 from upstate New York, she was a widow and single mother of two young children. Her husband had died from pancreatic cancer, and she was looking for a new start.
Not knowing anyone, she found Parents Without Partners to be a good resource for her, and she remains friends today with many of the members.
"I was a widow, and I knew nothing about where to take my kids," she said. "We talk to each other and we help each other."
Larry Holbrook, a divorced father of two who was a member of the group from 2004 to 2011, considered it "a safe place for somebody that was single."
"My kids were also able to relate to other kids in a way they couldn’t with kids at school with both parents in their families. It made me feel really comfortable," he said. "There was a lot of sympathy and empathy."
Though it is not the aim of the club, Holbrook was lucky enough to meet a partner through the group.
Gruver said the beauty of Parents Without Partners it that members can make whatever they want of it, and the group can offer much more than it currently does.
"We’re open to any suggestions," she said.
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For more information on Parents Without Partners, check www.parentswithoutpartners.org or call 262-7441. Free line-dancing classes are offered from 6 to 8 p.m. Tuesdays at the Ward Warehouse amphitheater and 6 to 7:30 p.m. Wednesdays at Kailua District Park.
