The guy right behind you in the checkout line, the one carrying a cold pack, a party tray of squished maki sushi and a plastic tub of ahi poke, the one tapping his foot and sighing like he has a full-throttle potluck emergency on his hands and you and your cart full of Hot Pockets, cheese slices and 2 percent milk are ruining his life with your agonizingly slow cash purchase … you know he stood in line for three days to get Bruno Mars tickets, right?
Or at least you suspect he did.
Because Hawaii people are completely hardcore when it comes to waiting in lines, but only select lines.
There are those who have it down to the precision and preparation of a military encampment. They bring fortifications, set out sleeping areas, take shifts. They eat better during their line-waiting stakeouts than most of us eat at home. They keep themselves occupied for hours on end and smile brightly when news cameras show up. They have special comfy reclining line-waiting chairs. They bring blankets. It is a sport and they are all-stars.
But then they will lose their minds having to idle in the auto line to pick up their kids from school because the child in front of them is slow to stow his 50-pound backpack and bassoon case in his mom’s Durango. Will not tolerate that wait. No way.
Now, waiting in line overnight, over several nights actually, to get tickets to see Bruno Mars,
perhaps the greatest showman ever to rise from the sands of Hawaii, is understandable. His work is brilliant and Hawaii loves to revel in hometown pride when an island son is so wildly successful.
But then there was the overnight line to get 52-cent chicken katsu at L&L this week. Overnight. For chicken katsu. Not even limited edition chicken katsu. Regular chicken katsu. Granted, terrific price, and the chicken is tasty, but for some, being able to sleep in an actual bed at night is worth the full price of a regular plate.
Some of those same plate-lunch fans probably can’t hold it together in the air-conditioned waiting room of the muffler shop while their car is being serviced, yet they can hold a spot for days in a line for something they’ve deemed worth the wait.
That is certainly not true for everyone.
A non-waiter sees a line and goes in the opposite direction. They never see movies on opening weekend, never try a restaurant when it first opens, have never purchased hot malasadas from the Punahou carnival. They will wait to try something so they don’t have to wait in line. Bruno Mars, they will enjoy on YouTube.
But some people see a line and think, “Ooh! Must be something good!” and they excitedly join in not fully knowing what they’ve actually lined up for. “What is Uniqlo anyway? Oh well, guess I’ll find out when my spot in the line moves up to the door. Anybody want some katsu? I get plenty!”
Reach Lee Cataluna at 529-4315 or lcataluna@staradvertiser.com.
