It’s the last Sunday in May and time to “flASHback” on the month’s news that amused and confused:
>> Gov. David Ige made an inspection tour of the Big Island as Pele vented lava in a Puna subdivision and toxic ash from Kilauea’s summit. After surveying the damage, he offered to appease the volcano goddess by sacrificing Colleen Hanabusa.
>> The union representing Hawaii’s public school teachers endorsed Ige for re-election against Hanabusa’s challenge after he gave teachers a 14 percent pay raise. Gone are the days when you could win the teacher’s favor by polishing an apple.
>> The 2018 Legislature adjourned in a burst of self-congratulation, and members of the House and Senate joined hands to sing “Hawaii Aloha.” Witnesses to the spectacle could only say, “Hawaii, OMG.”
>> Legislators held a record 77 political fundraisers during the session, charging lobbyists as much as $6,000 per ticket, according to Civil Beat. There are some things money can’t buy; the Hawaii Legislature isn’t one of them.
>> Senate President Ron Kouchi praised fellow lawmakers for their boldness in 2018 and compared them to superheroes. Like the Incredible Hulk, they embrace the color green and destroy everything in their path leaping from fundraiser to fundraiser.
>> Mayor Kirk Caldwell and the City Council engaged in a fierce veto fight over the future of controversial curb extensions in Chinatown. This is what passes as high intellect in our public square: dim bulbs battling over bulb-outs.
>> The mayor and Council turned to accounting tricks to stash a $44 million shortfall for rail administrative costs in the capital improvements budget. Rail financing strategy has shifted from smoke-and-mirrors to hide-the-pea.
>> Rail administrators said the short-term problems of the $10 billion Honolulu rail project must be viewed in the context of a train that will run for 100 years. Not to mention the red ink that will run for
200 years.
>> After initially claiming a new electric bus performed well in tests, the city admitted it struggled mightily climbing the H-2 near
Wahiawa and the Pali Highway. City transit projects are never fast enough to outrun the truth.
>> Hawaii is the most expensive place in the world to buy toilet paper, according to Newsweek. What a pity we have to buy so much of it to clean up after our elected officials.
>> Officials in Lake Worth, Fla., say it’s a mystery who sent a “zombie alert” to residents following a power outage. Now we know where our nuclear “button pusher” took his talents.
And the quote of the month … from Caldwell spokesman Andrew Pereira: “The public is not always going to get what they necessarily want because you have to look at it holistically.” With our municipal leadership, we usually have to look at it horrifically.
Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com.
